What's The Matter With Me? Podcast

What's The Matter With Me? Podcast

War On Sleep Anxiety

May 21, 2024
Compulsive behavior sequences are keeping me up at night, precluding a good night’s sleep

I’m driven from bed, get dressed, go outside to calm down, and eventually get back in bed. Out-of-control thoughts about the various trauma I’m going through overwhelm me, and soon I’m driven from bed again.

Searched up ‘strategy to stop repetitive behavior compulsive’ at 130am:

Sleep anxiety is a feeling of stress or fear about going to sleep. Anxiety is the most common mental health disorder in the U.S. Research suggests that most people with mental health disorders like anxiety also have some form of sleep disruption. Treatments may include therapy, better sleep hygiene or medication.

“Sleep Anxiety,” Cleveland Clinic

Drop-off is the new normal

I took the kids to school again. We listened to KCSM, the Bay Area’s Jazz Station, on the short drove to school. my daughter said it reminded her of Grandma’s house, where indeed there is always jazz on the stereo. I told her about how I grew up listening to jazz on the radio.

Good Things Are Happening

My walking is definitely improving. Soon, I hope I can go to KFJC on my own. I’m working up to it. First, I got to get a good night’s sleep.

I’m falling in love with the new cat.

Subscription Package

We subscribed to The 2025 season of @calperformances. We’re going to see @therealmambazo @SamaraJoy99 @AntonioDrumsX @ZakirHtabla. I’m very excited.

3D Opera Glasses

Back in the day I saw Phillip Glass perform “Monsters Of Grace,” directed by Robert Wilson in Zellerbach Hall, and it was very spectacular.

Originally, Wilson intended the fantastical scenarios he envisioned to actually be staged. When he realized the enormous costs and effort that would be involved in performing such a project (which included such tableaux as a gigantic hand pulling a sword from the ocean and a helicopter flying over the Great Wall of China), Wilson and producer Jed Wheeler began looking into creating the entire visual end of the production with 3D computer graphics. …

One major drawback that seems to have been the project’s main flaw was the length of time required for creating and rendering the animation. It took twenty animators almost a full year to complete the footage based on Wilson’s original intent. Wilson, who has been described as liking to maintain great control over his projects and to change details at the last minute, gradually grew frustrated upon seeing how much time was required to change the animations, and ended up distancing himself from the animators. This led to a final product that, from his standpoint, was unpolished. In an interview with the New York Times, he remarked, “This is like being a dog with a litter of puppies that went away six weeks later. . . . Here I was working with people who didn’t know my work, in a medium I didn’t know.”

“Monsters Of Grace” Wikipedia page

We won’t be seeing that again.

We subscribed right after they announced the schedule, which reserves us a place in line to get ADA seats.

Back on the exercise bike
New Coffee Rig

A new espresso machine is coming – the Lelit Victoria. It’s an updated version of the 30-year old machine I use currently.

Back And Forth

The new therapist is doing eye movement therapy, called EMDR.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, commonly known as EMDR, is a mental health therapy method. EMDR treats mental health conditions that happen because of memories from traumatic events in your past. It’s best known for its role in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but its use is expanding to include treatment of many other conditions.

“EMDR,” Cleveland Clinic

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I’m winning the war on anxiety, because I won’t have it any other way. Sleep anxiety is making things difficult.

I drove to Emeryville and get my haircut from Anjela at New Florence Salon.

A few days ago, out of-control thoughts and chains of compulsive behaviors drove me from bed 10 times. The next night, I slept just fine, as if nothing was the matter. Then the night after that, I woke at 3:30 AM, and couldn’t get back to sleep.

Need to ride my exercise bike, to get out of my head and into my body.

Thanks for listening, catch you next time. Have a good day.

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