“Take a bottle of chill pills. You can’t overdose on them.” “If laughing was pooping and there was a toilet that accepted that poop, that utility would have been overwhelmed at that moment.” “I don’t think that trainwrecks should be described as creamy...

“May I expose these truths that happen to be in my pants?” “We’re tired of having our lack of force forced upon us”

“I’m here to build bridges that go underwater… so they’re not really bridges. They’re just ramps.” “He doesn’t work so good talk think with people do.” “No one knew that you could backflip on a motorcycle without sheet music until that one guy did it.

“Vexitrol. Side effects include: Loss of friends and shitting your pants… from your face” “It’s not a poodle it’s a twoodle”

“I’ll be down pantly” “I don’t mean the things I say, I nice them.” “I don’t have morals or viewpoints, I just want money. Please give has. I thank. Can my has any monies more that’s not mine. I like monies. I hate babies and futures.

“The best we can hope for from racists and idiots is that maybe in 150 years they’ll be really good at partying” “Sir! You’re over-applying that nut-tan lotion. At this point I have to arrest you.” “What you don’t want a probe to do is get wider and de...

“Nothing should be called head cheese” “What’s wrong with bologna? Or what’s right with bologna? What’s the difference between this and bologna?” “Adolf and The Gingerbread Men” Media

“I’d like a small dish of cholesterol pellets please and a bowl of tartar soup” “Grunge has fully wrapped back around and started chewing on its own ass… just like punk did.” “I need a note from your doctor saying you’re impossibly fat” “Everybody,

“I wish I could like peanuts. I just can’t. Like, they make me die.” “I’m gonna live stream my butt stream” “Quite earnestly. Quite Ernest Goes To Facebook-ly.” Media

“Swollmate” “Friends… but on steroids… with cats!” “A savage of cats” “A swoll of bros” “A parade of gays” “A ballsack of supremacists” “I think that trump supporters have 70-80% of America’s skin flaps. Superfluous skin folds and cockles.