Many marriages are ruined by 2 people, each wanting to put their fair share into it.  “You put in your half, and I put in my half,” seems to be the thought.  Sounds good.  Fair.  Equal. And destined for disaster. It makes sense, doesn’t it,

 First line of an email last week:”I knew we were disconnected, but how did this happen?” The level of connection in any marriage is likely to wax and wane.  You will feel closer and more distant to your spouse to varying degrees over the lifetime of y...

Just to be clear, I am ALL FOR forgiveness.  I have talked about on the Save The Marriage Podcast and on my Thriveology Podcast. And in a marriage, there are ample opportunities to practice forgiving.  “Every-day forgiving” and big-time forgiving.

A relationship is built on trust.  A marriage can only thrive when it is built on trust.  But trust is not just earned.  It is given.  Trust is really a gift. A gift to be treasured, for sure. Some people refuse to trust — refuse to give that gift.

Too frequently, I have clients who treat me with great respect, being very civil.  I keep thinking, “What a nice person.” Then, their spouse comes in.  Civility and respect are out the window.  More often than not,

The body is there, but nobody’s home.  That would describe many people when their spouse is talking.  Or even when they are making love. The shell is there.  The person?  Not so much.  They are failing to “Show Up.

I was a bit surprised when he pulled out a list from his pocket.  He told me it was a list of all the problems his spouse had.  I was so surprised that it took me a minute to respond. By then, he had already launched into his list.

“I just don’t feel it anymore,” she told me. So I asked, “What are you not feeling?” “Love.”  She told me she no longer loved her husband. I asked, “What are you doing to be loving?” She looked up, a bit surprised.  “What?  I just told you,

When you have a disagreement, what is your goal?  What are you trying to do?  What are you aiming at? For many people, the goal of a disagreement is to get your way, make your point, prove yourself right — win. In any relationship,

Maybe couples take it for granted.  Maybe they never knew.  And maybe they never knew because it was always there.  It was what led to being in love, to wanting to be together.  When it is there, you forget how important it is.  When it is gone,