Have you ever tried washing that crusty gunk out of your entry way floor mat? It’s nearly impossible. If you are like billions of others, you would nearly rather pull out your pubes than wash that mat. Hi, friends,

It’s the first show of the new year. You may not have known that, since you still haven’t picked up a new calendar. I know…I know. You haven’t been to see the mechanic or your insurance agent in a while. And who wants to buy a calendar?

The New Year is just around the corner. Are you prepared? Friends, your old buddy Mort Lawry here to talk a little bit about next year. You do not know what to expect. Hurricanes, earthquakes, more Republitard bullshit, fires, famine,

And here we are…just a few short days until Christmas. The excitement is palpable.  Travelling to see loved ones can be a grand time, unless you are sitting at the bus station or the airline terminal and some free-form, poorly parented,

Just a short little squirt ’til Christmas folks. Speaking of a short li’l squirt. Ha-ha. Never mind that.  Mort Lawry here, friends. I’d like to take just a moment out of your entertainment time to talk with you about a topic that I know will hit home ...

Happy Holidays friends, Mort Lawrey here to talk about table salt. Yes, table salt. The importance of a good table salt is overlooked. Does it really matter? Yes. Bad table salt can completely fuck up that holiday meal.

One holiday down and several to go, eh? Mort Lawrey here. Tonight, your old buddy Mort would like to make sure you are prepared for the next big holiday sweep, which is less that one month away. Presenting: Bombs Away Seasoning from the fine folks over...

Good evening, it’s your old buddy Mort Lawry once again. Tonight, I’d like to talk to you about your house. Do you love it? If so, go ahead and take a much needed potty break or grab another Hydrox brand cookie from the little ceramic cookie jar you ke...

Good evening, Friends, Mort Lawry here to share with you an insider’s secret. Ever accidentally shit your pants? Hey…who hasn’t? Even your good pal, Mort has let loose a little trouser juice on occasion. Worry about it no more.

And now a word from tonight’s sponsor — Wellton’s Flame Fucker. Friends, Mort Lawry here. If you’re like me, you hate walking outside on a cold morning and scraping your windows for what seems like an eternity. Never again.