I have a wheelchair and I busted it out over the weekend. It was kind of a big deal. I've never ridden around in a wheelchair before. We've talked about it before on the podcast that I've got the wheelchair, but also that I'm kind of apprehensive about riding around in a wheelchair. But I did it. I was with my family. I had gone to see my cousin Amy in the hospital where she's recovering. We talked about that last episode. And then my wife who had been in nanny in San Francisco was like, "There's a playground right around here in Golden Gate Park and kids love it. Let's go there." And I thought, "maybe I'll ride my wheelchair around."

Begin Transcript:

Thank you for tuning into the What's the Matter With Me podcast.

My name is John. I'm 40 years old, husband, father of two, small business owner, radio DJ and podcaster. I have multiple sclerosis so I made this podcast to share what I'm going through. What's the Matter With Me is an MS podcast and it's also about other things. I'm not a medical professional. Don't take this for medical advice. And. If you need medical advice, ask your healthcare provider.

Recap

Last episode, I was processing grief and trauma. Hear the plane going overhead. I'm outside again, 6:45 in the morning right now so all the airplanes are landing here in San Jose, I guess. And all the cars are going. We'll probably hear some cars start up, people going to work. I've been having a hard time. Last episode it was grief and trauma, going through a lot of causes of grief and different traumas in my life. And now in this episode, it's about 10 days later and I'm thinking more about levels of reactions.

Unpacking the real reasons

I'm having a lot of trouble separating, still, separating the implicit impulses, thoughts, anxious thoughts, from what is real trauma and grief. We went over that last episode, but now what I'm starting to figure out is that a lot of this trauma I'm experiencing because of an implicit reaction. I'm upset because my cousin was in an accident or my friend is ill, but it's really that I think those upsetnesses don't have to do with them, they have to do with what I'm going through with MS. So I'm starting to just try and unpack, "what am I really upset about?" What are the real reasons that I'm having these negative thoughts and feelings?

And I thought, "maybe I'll ride my wheelchair around."

I'm out here in the garden right now. This is a power spot for me amongst the plants and birds. I've really loved them and I love it here. I love to be in nature. I have a wheelchair and I busted it out over the weekend. It was kind of a big deal. I've never ridden around in a wheelchair before. We've talked about it before on the podcast that I've got the wheelchair, but also that I'm kind of apprehensive about riding around in a wheelchair, but I did it. I was with my family. I had gone to see my cousin Amy in the hospital where she's recovering. We talked about that last episode. And then my wife who had been in nanny in San Francisco was like, "There's a playground right around here in Golden Gate Park and kids love it. Let's go there." And I thought, "maybe I'll ride my wheelchair around."

We went riding

With my son

So we went for it. I was able to get the wheelchair out of the car and then we were off. There were slides, a bunch of slides, a whole thing of swings, climbing structures and play structures like a giant green wave the kids could climb on. It was cool. It was called koret playground at Golden Gate Park. It was fall in San Francisco and even though I had a scarf and a hat and a jacket, my hand still got cold because when you're in a wheelchair you're just kind of sitting there so you have to bundle up. I learned that one on my first ride. I think that'll come in handy later to bundle up.

Rotary Park

Riding with my family

Then the next day we went to the rotary park bike path where my kids loved to ride their bikes here in San Jos...