After 15 years with my wife, I realize I’ve lost touch with a common emotion: being in a dissatisfying relationship but not having the courage to leave. The gap between the confidence my clients display at work and the insecurity they display in relationships is astonishing. This all just goes to show that we’re emotional people, often raised with poor role models, who don’t believe we deserve more from love than what we’re getting now. Here’s the good news: at any point in time, you can make a different choice. You can raise your standards. You can say no. You can find someone who loves you unconditionally and wants to take care of you. But it doesn’t start with him changing his behavior because you love him; it starts with you setting a boundary and dumping any man whose behavior makes you feel consistently anxious.