A few days ago, I told you to not punish behaviour you want to see. Today I want to talk about how we do that with sex. One common way we do this is by asking for sex and then turning down what she... The post Avoid Punishing Desired Behavior in Sex first

Weve all heard people dont change, only change in small ways, or only change when faced with extreme situations. All of these are lies, and double-edged lies at that. When we buy into these lies, we treat others as if they wont change, giving...The po

Over on Quora, someone suggested its unintelligent to punish the behaviour you want. I mean, this should be obvious, but I see husbands punishing desired behaviour all the time. Some examples: Your wife is rarely on time, and when she is, you act shock

I recently tossed this marriage tip out on the social media platform formerly known was Twitter: Mercy talking and mercy date nights are as good for her as mercy sex is for you. #MarriageTip If something is important to your wife, doing it under... The po

Its been over two years since I ran this, so it feels due: Do you find it difficult to pray for your wife because you arent sure what to pray about? Try praying based on the first letter of the day: Sunday pray for...The post Pray By The Day of The Wee

I recently told the ladies over on The XY Code that Men Dont Get Womens Sexual Dynamics. How could we? We dont have female sex organs, we dont have a female brain, and we didnt grow up being told how women are supposed to...The post Unraveling t

This lie is a whopper! We want to think our marriage is just about us, and its no one elses business. This gives us the right to tell others to butt out when they try to talk to us about our marriages. However, this...The post FF: Marriage Lie: Your

On Tuesday, I talked about emotional self-regulation, and choosing to not self-regulate in order to manipulate your spouse. And I suspect some of you thought your wife does this when she cries. I know some women use tears to get their way, or to... The po

I have a five-year-old grandson who has issues with emotional self-regulation. Hes past full-on meltdowns, but he still struggles to behave acceptably when he is disappointed or disciplined. This is to be expected at his age, and I have no doubt he will

What little gift would your wife appreciate? Flowers? Chocolate? A replacement for a kitchen tool she just broke? Every woman is different, but there is certainly some token of your love that would stir her heart. Figure out what it is, and give it.... Th