I want to run through the steps of teaching your kids emotional intelligence. And to lay the groundwork for that, let's take a minute to explore our relationship to uncomfortable emotions. We are conditioned to view certain emotions as acceptable and unacceptable - and this causes us to have a low tolerance for these emotions that show up in ourselves and in our kids. 

Emotional intelligence is important for moms because it helps us to walk them through their own emotions from a more tolerant, accepting, and capable place

 
Emotional intelligence in our kids

* We underrate their emotional capacity to observe and internalize the world around them
* Sometimes we parent the surface level of 'keeping them happy' - aka the Hustle for Happiness, Episode 66
* Happy kids cannot be our parenting goal, it is short-sighted and defeating

 
Raising kids will emotional intelligence is important because it allows our kids to be:

* more mindful of how their emotions are impacting them
* less fearful of 'negative' emotions
* better skilled in healthy coping habits to help them with their tough emotions
* better skilled in developing healthy relationships

 
Emotional intelligence is a whole family experience 
Emotional intelligence is good for the whole family, and it is never too late to get started

We worry that if we allow our kids their emotions that they will act entitled and poorly. Remember, all emotions are acceptable but not all behaviors are acceptable

 
What emotions are 'acceptable'?

* We are conditioned to view certain emotions as acceptable or unacceptable 
* As moms, we have emotions we view as 'unacceptable' for us to feel.
* But emotions have a purpose, all of them. They have a role to prompt us to take an action.
* We often take unhealthy actions and reinforce our belief that this emotion is unhealthy.

 
Tolerating tough emotions in our kids
As moms, we have a low tolerance for certain emotions in our kids. Here are some common ones that the moms I coach struggle to tolerate our kids feeling:

* Ungratefulness, entitlement, 
* Anger
* Disagreement 
* Overwhelm
* Sadness, pouting
* Scared
* Shy, nervous
* Boredom

Watch out for the negative emotions we allow our kids to feel, even encourage, because we think they can be used as a form of consequence or punishment: shame, guilt, regret. 

We are teaching our kids which emotions they should turn to in order to motivate their own behaviour changes, and it becomes our inner dialogue in our adult life. 

 
Answering some of the questions that were sent to me:

* Is EI similar to emotional resilience? If emotional resilience is a value of mine how can I incorporate that into everyday life in hopes to help my children to be emotionally resilient?
* Can minimalism help our kids have better emotional intelligence? 

 
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