You start working to save your marriage.  You are working on rebuilding the connection.  You have been trying to change and improve yourself.  You’ve been focused.  You’ve been putting in the effort. And then, your spouse says, “Too little, too late.

Which way are you facing in your relationship?  Are you looking toward where you want to be, or looking back at where you have been? I’ve noticed that as a rule, when I am driving my car, I am better served by looking out the windshield than looking in...

It is not about “communication,” no matter what you hear (from friends or a therapist).  Most people communicate just fine.  They have another issue:  perception.  How they perceive each other, that is the bigger issue. And then the trap is laid.

Desperation.  It is never a good guide.  Desperation leads you down any and every approach.  And in the process, you get nowhere. I know, because I have seen it happen.  Someone will say to me, “I’ll try anything to save my marriage.

Just the other day, I received a message from someone who said she wanted to save her marriage BUT she was afraid.  She told me about the fear that gripped her, SO she couldn’t work on saving her marriage.  I tried to have a discussion with her,

Sometimes, I am working with a client and suggest an approach, only to hear the next week, “I did that, and I (added this twist), and things got worse!”  I always ask, “Why did you do that?  Why did you make that change?”  And usually, my client says,

Stephen Cove, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, noted that you should always start with the end in mind. Great advice.  If you don’t know where you are headed, how will you ever get there? When I was a child, I loved maps (truthfully,

Let me just be clear that I have never been cool or hip enough to tell someone they are “dissing” me — at least not with a straight face! But many people are doing that — dissing their marriage, with 5 different levels of “dis.”  Ending in a Disaster!

Let me say it here, in writing:  I am NOT opposed to marital therapy.  I am quite concerned, however, on how marital therapy happens now.  I am concerned about the effectiveness of marital therapy.  And I am concerned for people who blindly seek out ma...

We all have ideas, “mental models,” of what things are and how things work.  Those models tend to change over time, both throughout history in in your own life. A great example is marriage.  Did you know that several millennia back,