When a crisis strikes, we all have a tendency to get stuck in the “What Happened” loop. We keep going over and over the details, looking for what we missed along the way, looking for the places things could be different. Many times,

So, what DO you do when apathy strikes?  It might be YOUR apathy.  But more likely, it will be your spouse’s apathy.  It just seems there is no emotion, no care, no concern. What IS apathy? What does it mean? Why does it happen? And most importantly,

A fight.  An affair.  An indiscretion.  An argument.  Some event. Suddenly, someone announces “this is over.” You may point to that event, the moment when things seemed to turn upside down. But that event was just that:  an event.

So many times, I hear couples say, “Stop Controlling ME!”  Interestingly, sometimes, both people are saying it to the other.  BOTH people are not likely to get very far in controlling.  But BOTH claim a controlling spouse,

Have you ever noticed how often we want an easy answer? Sometimes, people ask for my help, and I start giving some guidelines, offering my System.  It turns out they didn’t want that.  They tell me, “No, can you just give me a couple of tips?

There are lots of mistakes people make in their efforts to save their marriage.   This particular mistake is what I consider to be the 3rd biggest.  I hear it in the questions people send me every single week. In fact,

Is your marriage on life support?  You keep watching as the life slowly leaks away from your relationship.  Maybe you feel powerless to turn it around.  But is it too late? When a marriage gets into trouble,

There are 5 very typical, and destructive, problems in many marriages. And yes, these are the problems that MANY people report.  Yes, they are painful and hurtful. BUT, they are not really the problems.  They are the symptoms of the problem.

It matters.  Your efforts to save your marriage.  They matter.  Your desire to work things through, to find a better way for your relationship.  It matters. When you are in the midst of the struggle, it can feel horrible.

Have you found yourself in the middle of an argument, toe-to-toe with your spouse, with that little part of your brain saying, “why am I even arguing over this?  It doesn’t matter”? I ask, because I have had that experience MANY times in my life,