"You are just too selfish and self-centered.  That is why we have marriage problems."  Have you heard that before?

A listener is wondering if she is too self-centered for her marriage.  I am guessing that her spouse has told her just that.  Maybe even said she is selfish.

It is always interesting when I hear this accusation in my office... from both people!  At the same time!

Both accuse the other of causing the problems because they are too selfish and self-centered.

To be clear, it is entirely possible to be self-centered and selfish... certainly completely out of balance with what is healthy.  And it is possible to be accused of that, but it is really something else.

Let's talk about your perspective, what it might mean to be "selfish," and when it might be a problem (along with when it might actually be another problem).

Listen below.

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