A listener had a question... and it isn't the first time I've heard it.  How DO you save your marriage when you feel hate for your spouse?  That does seem impossible to get beyond, doesn't it? I have some news for you:  many people (if not MOST) who are working on saving their marriage are NOT having warm and fuzzy feelings for their spouse. In fact, they are likely to be just as hurt, just as frustrated, and just as unsure as their spouse. But there is a difference:  They think that working on their marriage... even when feeling upset and hurt, is important.  Important enough to choose to act in spite of those feelings. You may be thinking, "Wait, I can't act differently than I am feeling!" But with just a little reflection, most people realize they do it every single day.  "Not feeling it," but still going to work.  Upset about your finances, but still paying the bills.  Angry about something, but not taking it out on someone. See what I mean? We all do that all the time.  Why?  Because something is important enough to not just react to our emotions. I discuss it in this week's Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.   RELATED RESOURCES: 7 Stages of Disconnection Connection Matters Better or Bitter? Failing Ways to Argue Save The Marriage System My Toolkit