Many times, I watch couples caught in a spiral of accusations, each convinced of maliciousness on the part of their spouse.  But I don't think that is actually it.

In fact, many times, both people in front of me seem to be hurting, but not malicious.

Which is why it seems so clear to me that maliciousness is not (usually) the issue.

I have that "usually" in there, because there are abusive relationships... in which case, someone is actually malicious (and that marriage should not be saved, at least at that time).

You may be familiar with Occam's Razor.  Well, there are other "razors."  For example, Hanlon's Razor states, "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."  Which has led me to Baucom's Razor:  "No need to attribute to malice what is actually the result of neglect."

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I discuss how we get to this point of neglect, why it is so detrimental, and why it matters that you see Baucom's Razor in process.  And of course, all of that is aimed to help you reverse the damage and save your marriage.

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