In today’s episode of Post Traumatic Parenting, I delve further into the topic of entanglement, boundaries, and how to get out of entanglement. If you recall the previous episode, you remember Esme, a post-traumatic parent who is so tangled up in the dynamics of her family of origin that it interferes with her parenting style and hinders her ability to parent in accordance with her values. Esme has sought my guidance in analyzing her situation and finding a way out of this entanglement. 

While some may believe that cutting off ties or completely withdrawing from her family is the solution, they are mistaken. The answer lies in something that many post-traumatic parents find confusing and challenging: boundaries. 

By setting healthy boundaries and honoring them, parents like Esme can reclaim their true identity, realign with their values, and once again parent in accordance with their values. Join me as I discuss the importance and purpose of boundaries, the adverse effects of repeatedly breaking boundaries, how to establish clear boundaries, effectively communicate them with others, and more.

Note: In this episode, I mistakenly referred to it as episode 15. However, we had to publish an additional episode prior to this one. Therefore, please note that this episode is actually episode 16. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused and hope you enjoy listening to this episode!

Topics covered in this episode:

• Why do post-traumatic parents often lack an understanding of boundaries?
• The story of Mrs. McGillicutty highlights the importance of boundaries and the consequences of ignoring them.
• Boundaries are not about estrangement, but rather about mediating closeness and maintaining personal integrity.
• How does anger serve as an antidote to guilt, and what role does justified guilt play in acknowledging mistakes and repairing relationships?
• In what ways can anger temporarily suppress guilt, potentially leading to the acceptance of behaviors that would normally be unacceptable in a calm state?
• Why do boundaries exist, and what purpose do they serve in relationships?
• Different understandings of boundaries often cause anger and conflicts in relationships.
• Why is there no objective standard for boundaries, and why might what works for one family not work for another?
• When can exceptions be made to boundaries, and how should these exceptions be handled?
• Setting clear boundaries and effectively communicating them in relationships.
• How does setting boundaries help children establish a strong sense of self and values as part of their development?
• How can good boundaries protect children from peer pressure?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit https://www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/05/31/getting-out-of-e…-into-boundaries/