If you’re anything like us, parenting—and most certainly parenting under quarantine—can feel tedious, exhausting, mundane, and sometimes downright maddening! Yet time and again parents say some of their deepest joys in life stem from the time shared with their children. In this rich episode, Yael speaks with parenting expert Dr. Daphne de Marneffe, author of Maternal Desire: On Children, Love, and the Inner Life. They discuss the challenges of parenting for women. They talk about navigating seemingly competing interests in a manner that allows you to manage the stressors more wisely and experience more pleasure, when and where you can.

Listen and Learn:

The value of parenting for our children and ourselvesHow parenthood makes us more skillful in the workplace The value in being “around and there” (even if you are distracted)The emotional complexity of childcare Making household tasks feel less chore-likeWhy time is so important in our relationship with our childrenHow to value and honor the difficulties in parentingAnd how to value, honor, and take advantage of the times when we make parenting mistakes.

Dr. Daphne De Marnefe

About Dr. Daphne de Marneffe

Daphne de Marneffe, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, couples and parenting expert, and author of Maternal Desire: On Children, Love, and the Inner Life and The Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together. Dr. de Marneffe’s clinical work and writing are informed by developmental psychology and her decades of experience treating couples and parents. Her work has been published in academic journals and the popular press, including The New York Times, and she is a contributing editor to Parents Magazine where she writes a regular column on couple relationships. Dr. De Marneffe received a B.A. from Harvard University and her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from U.C. Berkeley. 

Resources:

Maternal Desire: On Children, Love, and the Inner Life, by Dr. Daphne de MarneffeThe Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together, by Dr. Daphne de Marneffe Daphne’s website

Other Resources for Parents During Quarantine

A preprint of the article “First Things First: Parent Psychological Flexibility and Self-Compassion during COVID-19,” by Lisa Coyne, Evelyn Gould, Mikala Grimaldi, Kelly Wilson, Gabriel Baffuto, Anthony Biglan.

134. What to do When Work, Parenting, and Partnership Collide During Quarantine92. Marriage in Midlife: The Rough Patch with Dr. Daphne de Marneffe