Psychologists Off the Clock

Psychologists Off the Clock


418. Changing the Stories We Tell Ourselves with Phil Lane

July 30, 2025

Could the stories you tell yourself be shaping how you see yourself? Sometimes those stories build us up, but other times, they are just quietly tearing us down. In this episode, Michael talks with Dr. Phil Lane, a licensed clinical social worker and the author of The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem, about how we can start to shift those inner stories in a healthier direction.


Phil shares what led him to narrative therapy and why storytelling can be an incredibly powerful tool for healing. He talks about how many of us carry around dominant narratives, which are beliefs about ourselves that sometimes we may not even realize we’ve absorbed. And explains how you can learn to question and rewrite those beliefs, helping us reconnect with who we really are.


You'll also benefit from the core techniques behind narrative therapy, like scaffolding and deconstruction, and explore what it’s like to share your personal story in different settings.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How the power of storytelling in a safe space can transform self-perception and healing
  • Changing the story you've been telling yourself and beginning to see who you truly are, more fully and clearly
  • Uncovering hidden parts of your life story beyond the dominant narrative you've accepted
  • How inherited beliefs shape your story and how to consciously rewrite it for yourself
  • Identifying faulty beliefs and clarifying your values helps rewrite your personal story for self-acceptance
  • Understanding your past to shape your present story empowers your daily life choices
  • How to rebuild your personal story by carefully scaffolding and deconstructing it for true self-accuracy
  • Embracing curiosity to uncover and challenge the beliefs you’ve always seen as true
  • How acceptance and reframing your story can empower you to embrace life's challenges and thrive
  • Viewing your life story as multi-genre can bring richer healing and balance
  • How narrative therapy reveals deeper meaning beyond surface explanations
  • When and how to share your sacred story meaningfully beyond small talk and surface talk


Resources: 


About Phil Lane

Phil Lane is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, psychotherapist in private practice and author of the books Understanding and Coping with Illness Anxiety, The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem and Overcoming Panic and Panic Attacks. Phil practices and writes from a humanistic point of view with a goal of normalizing and de-stigmatizing commonly experienced problems and challenges. Phil and his family live in the central part of New Jersey where he enjoys gardening, reading, writing, watching baseball, and model railroading. Phil can be found on Instagram at @therapist_phil and online at phil-lane.com. You can also find his author pages on Amazon and Goodreads. 


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