We say it all the time — check on your strong friend — but do we really know what that means?

In this Support Snippet, Shirl goes deeper than the surface-level reminder and speaks directly to what it looks like when strong Black women go quiet. When the one who always holds everyone else down suddenly pulls back. When the “I’m fine” doesn’t really mean fine anymore.

If you’re the strong one, or you love someone who is, this short but powerful episode will help you think differently about how support shows up, who it’s for, and what’s hiding in the silence after we stop over-functioning.

Because here’s the truth:
The strong friend gets tired too.
And when she stops showing up the way she always has — it’s not drama.
It’s a signal.

• What it really means to check on your strong friend

• Why many strong Black women feel invisible when they stop doing

• The emotional weight of being “the dependable one”

• How silence can signal the need for support

• A gentle reminder that strong women deserve to be held too

Whether you’ve been the strong friend, ignored the strong friend, or realized that you are the strong friend… this conversation is for you.

Because shifting from being a strong Black woman to being a supported Black woman?
That’s the real work.
And it starts with noticing.

Shirl is holding space for Black women who are ready to rest, reflect, and receive support without guilt.
Book a 1:1 Support Session HERE.

• Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
• Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?”
• Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
• Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform
•  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one
•  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space
• Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
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• Be a Guest on the Show
• www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

• Finding Support in the Pause
• When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well
• Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.