Are you tired of being the strong one? The one everyone depends on but rarely checks in with? That’s what we’re getting into today… ewhat happens after you finally lay that weight down — when you stop over-functioning, stop fixing, stop pretending you’re okay… and the phone stops ringing.

What happens when you finally stop?
When you set the boundary? When you pause the all the doing?

It’s quiet. But instead of peace, you’re sitting in discomfort. Maybe even grief.
Because what shows up after the pause — that silence, that stillness — can feel personal.

In this episode, I’m talking about the uncomfortable part of rest.
The identity crisis that shows up when you’re no longer being needed every day.
And the emotional shift that happens when you’ve built your worth on being dependable — and now you’re not sure who you are without it.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m tired of being the strong one,” this episode will hit home. I’m diving into what it feels like to stop over-functioning, to rest, and to wrestle with who you are when being needed isn’t your identity anymore.

• Why rest can feel like grief when your identity was built around being needed

• What it really feels like to stop over-functioning

• The weight of being invisible when you stop doing everything

• What the “but then what?” moment reveals about your support needs

• Why the pause is not failure — it’s the beginning of your becoming

• Who am I if I’m not the strong one anymore?

• Why do I feel so off when I finally rest?

• What if nobody notices I’ve stopped showing up?

This episode is for you.

And  if you’re sitting in that “but then what?” space — and it feels like too much to carry alone, let me hold space for you in a 1:1 Support Session. 

These sessions aren’t about fixing. They’re about slowing down and making room for the version of you who’s ready to be held too. Book Your Support Session HERE .

• Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
• Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?”
• Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
• Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

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• www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

• Finding Support in the Pause
• When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well
• Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.