George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Why? Because he had a lot of fear, and his therapist told him that he needed to face his fear. Joseph Campbell said that "In the deepest caves, we find our darkest fear." So, George looked for the dee

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. After looking at a Paul Gauguin painting of naked Tahiti women doing various things, George took the title to heart and asked himself... "Where do we come from?" The ship. George came from the ship. "

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He walked along the beach, listening to the waves roll in. Where did he bury that treasure chest? Of course he'd marked the spot with an X. Every good pirate knows that. But every good pirate marks th

Lizzie RichardSerendipidy Norval JoeTom Planet ZThe next topic is PackageLIZZIEIt was dark. The swamp was weird. It bubbled, for some mysterious reason. And she had to step into it to prove herself, they said, to be part

It amuses me when I get Spam that says someone may have run a background check on me.Go ahead. Run a background check.You'll find the usual stuff: a decent education, a car note, and a good credit rating.And a rap sheet as long as your arm.Every line

I knew a girl named Helter Skelter.I shit you not, it was her legal name.And not a joke name, picked out as an adult.And it certainly wasn't a stage name, like actors pick out when their legal name is already registered with the union.Or their birth n

Eighty years ago, the Germans exterminated my village.Today, we dig up the streets and pull out the underpavement.It is made from the gravestones of my ancestors.The Germans had ordered the cemeteries to be destroyed.But now, we are reclaiming the sto

Almost twenty years ago, I got a support job at a webhosting company. We packed hundreds of online scammer accounts on cheap servers. Load averages were astronomical. The only true solution was to stop overloading the servers. But instead, we'd tell the c

Dear Loyal Customer, We regret to inform you that the licensed mumbo-jumbo provider at your local eternal life exchange performed improper service maintenance for the past 20 years. New equipment and training have been dispatched. Please make an appointme

When people get old and everyone around them has died, and even the ghosts stop coming around to haunt them, they get lonely, and they talk to the mailman or the gas meter reader or the guy at the meat counter. Or 911. "What's your emergency?" "Everyone I