#119: Why Does it Have to Be So Hard?

September 18, 2022

Read the Transcript:
This is episode number 119: Why does it seem so hard?
Welcome to the Mindset for Life Podcast. This is Bethanie, your coach, from DrBCoach.Com--coaching with power, purpose and practical tools to help you show up with confidence.
Welcome to the podcast today. I'm Bethanie Hansen, and I'm here to talk with you about why life, or work, or both are so hard. Sometimes everything just seems really hard, right? It can feel like the whole world is against you. Like just as things start to go your way something happens. And now there's this new challenge. And it's like challenge after challenge.
Sometimes it's just the people in life, like they are resistant or difficult or not really doing what we want them to be doing. And sometimes it's just the opportunity, like, there's not enough opportunity to do what I really want to do. Or maybe I'd like to have a new experience. And I just can't figure out what that is.
And I'd like to describe that in a little more detail. Today's episode is all about being stuck, what it feels like. The experience of being stuck, why it's so draining and difficult, and some hope and reassurance that there is a way out of being stuck.
No one can change all of their external circumstances or the people around them, but we can focus on ourselves and the experience we're actually having and the way we're feeling from day to day. And when we're doing that, pretty soon, everything changes, we have the power to do it. I know it might not seem that way right now. But trust me, it's possible. And if you stay with me throughout this podcast, and throughout this series, you're gonna find a way.
So let's get started by talking about that feeling of just being stuck. And of course, this podcast is for you, if you love serve, and teach others, if you want things to keep getting better. If you want encouragement, just one little idea today to get stronger in your life, your relationships, your work. I help people take control of their situations, and I have power to do what I need to do. And so can you.
[I am a] confidence coach for tech leaders and executives, that's what I am. And I'm also a wellbeing coach for teachers. I love doing these things because it makes a difference in the lives of others. But it also makes a difference in my life. And it wouldn't be of any value to anyone else unless I was doing my best to just live it myself. So I'm on this journey to day to day, doing the best I can to be the best version of myself, just as you may be doing.
And I know life isn't easy all the time. In fact, at the time of this recording, I just had one of the toughest weeks of my recent life, just really struggling through some things happening. And so I want you to know [that] I'm with you in the feeling of struggle and really feeling stuck. Sometimes we have to weather that.
Sometimes, we have to do things to get out of that path and into another one. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about being stuck.
What is Being Stuck?
A stuck situation is where we have a lot of negative emotions. And negative emotions, as we all know, are not pleasant. We're experiencing other people or circumstances as having more power over our happiness than we do. And when we're feeling stuck like this, we believe that other people, or the things happening with our work or our life, actually have the ability to cause the troubling feelings in us that we cannot do anything about.

So perhaps we're angry, and we feel like it's someone else's fault.

We're depressed. And it seems like it's because of someone else's behavior.

We're just discouraged. And we think it's because of our work situation.

No matter how we try, it feels like these things are outside of us and beyond us. Now, because we feel like it's outside our control, we often think there's just nothing we can do about it to feel happy, peaceful or fulfilled again. And that situation of being stuck actually has a lot of impact.