This is episode number sixty nine: Loneliness and belonging.

Welcomed the Mindset for Life Podcast. This is Bethanie, your Coach, from DrBCoach.Com, coaching with power, purpose, and practical tools to help you show up with confidence.

Have you ever been lonely? I mean really alone. I have. I moved to a new town when I was a young adult for my first job out of college. I didn't know anyone. I was from a different state. I didn't have any neighbors I had met. I literally was completely alone, except for the telephone. I could pick up the phone and call my family two states away.

It was incredibly lonely those first few weeks, until I started my new job and made some friends in the workplace. Many people only know people at work. They don't go to a church group. They don't have neighborhood acquaintances. There are a lot of people in our world today who only know people at work. And in a period of pandemic times, with social isolation and people working from home, that can be incredibly lonely.

But what about in non-pandemic times? We can still be lonely in a crowd of people.

Loneliness is Common and Has an Impact on Us

Loneliness is a real problem in our world, and it can have devastating health consequences. First of all, there are some statistics about loneliness. I'm always interested in those. So, I want to share those with you. In a current survey posted on NPR in the beginning of 2020, the survey noted that three out of five Americans are lonely. Apparently 61% of all Americans are lonely. Of course, that was taken from a sample of ten thousand people and generalized to the entire population. The pandemic came along, and loneliness really picked up. So if you're not feeling the effects of loneliness, chances are that you have done things to overcome this and create connection. If you are feeling lonely, you're not alone. Many of us are lonely.

There's a lot that happens when we are lonely, because belonging is a basic human need. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of this, but there is a hierarchy of human needs, and belonging is one of the main needs that humans have. If you are alone, it can cause mental health problems like anxiety, emotional distress, addictions, depression. It can increase all sorts of health risks and decrease your quality of sleep. It can make it very difficult to stay asleep, if you are able to fall asleep. Social isolation and loneliness in older adults are also serious public health risks, and this does affect people all over the world. Belonging is the antidote to loneliness.

When it's missing, it hurts our participation in all sorts of things. So even if we go to work and there are people there, we may suffer from loneliness. It's difficult to show up at work and be our best selves. It compromises our participation at work. It also makes it hard to be a good spouse, a good parent, or to achieve at anything. When we're lonely we feel like discouraged and despairing. And if it happens for a long time, it can even generate attitudes of pessimism, cynicism, emotional isolation, and challenges to your faith. It can also take away your zip and yours zest for life, when it is there.

Belonging Strengthens Us and Begins Within

When we do feel a sense of belonging, it can bring pride in our family, in our neighborhood, and our friendships with peers we have at work or other places, pride in our community. Belonging can also give us emotional strength, self-assurance. It can help us handle all sorts of challenges and difficulties. Belonging increases warmth and motivation. I've been in situations where a person was lonely and many people around them reached out and tried to connect, tried to build community. And that person did not respond. They were not lifted up by these other people, even though their efforts were sincere and genuine.