In this compelling episode, we tackle the challenging subject of emotional avoidance and addiction recovery. Jay opens up about his struggles with feelings of abandonment, insecurity, and boredom, which led him to turn to porn. We discuss the importance of facing these emotions head-on, rather than fleeing from them, as well as HEALTHIER coping mechanisms and the significance of accepting, rather than resisting, life's emotional challenges. We start with testimonials from listeners that underscore the impact of Jay's vulnerability and transparency in helping betrayed spouses on their recovery journeys. Highlights of this episode: - The shocking fear a 6'0" ex-military man couldn't face (this will surprise you) - Why boredom is actually dangerous and how it triggers relapse cycles - The difference between wanting to numb emotions vs. learning to feel them (game-changer) - How to tell if you're using 'recovery' to avoid real healing (most people miss this) - The #1 sign you might be addicted (hint: it's about 5-second interactions) - Practical coping techniques that actually work long-term (not just band-aids) TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Intro and Listener Feedback 04:05 Why BOREDOM is an issue for addicts 05:28 Dealing with PAST TRAUMAS 06:43 What truths were you refusing to face? 07:22 A fear Jay had not dealt with 09:20 Any truths about yourself you were afraid to face? 09:41 What did those fears feel like in your body? 11:23 Which of the feelings were THE MOST UNBEARABLE? 11:41 Did running away work? 14:16 Did you think NUMBNESS WAS A STRENGTH? 15:40 When did you first start using coping techniques to deal with those emotions? 16:31 SOLUTION: TO build RESILIENCE, ask "What bad really happens?" 18:18 What could you 'not handle'? (Expectations v. Acceptance) 22:38 3 biggest emotions you now face? 26:11 How to create LONG-TERM DOPAMINE 28:02 Behind the scenes -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Addiction - https://porniskillingme.com/contact-me/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice