In this raw conversation, we expose why the lies addicts tell and the beliefs they hide behind increase betrayal trauma. Jay opens up about the shocking justifications for his deceit and the internal struggles he faced while battling addiction. We cover two ways to COMBAT THE DELUSION of 'protecting' a partner from the truth. Lori asks about the deep-seated beliefs that shaped his actions, and stay until the end in for an eye-opening conversation on spiritual values, as well as a behind the scenes (kind of funny) moment. Timestamps 00:00 Intro and Question 02:01 I don't want to get better 04:42 It became acceptable 05:17 “The beliefs that justified my lies” 09:02 Beliefs about LIFE/RELATIONSHIPS that helped him justify lying* 13:41 One more belief from his past 14:42 Solution: What is the history of the addict in your life? 16:55 "Maybe I SHOULD QUIT the thing I'm lying about?"* 18:35 Delusion and Pollyanna 20:36 Did Jay ever think the lying would cause more damage than porn. 23:58 What was the most shocking lie Jay justified? 24:53 Did SPIRITUAL/MORAL VALUES ever compete with his justifications?* 26:37 Jay’s thinking now? 27:41 The PROBLEM WITH CONFESSING all at once* 28:55 WORSE than porn 31:21 Feedback 32:06 BTS Moment involving a Bow and Arrow -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Addiction - https://porniskillingme.com/contact-me/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking. #BetrayalTrauma #HealingTrust #PornAddiction #MarriageAdvice #Confession