I have a quick episode for you today. I want to share an important IFS tip, especially for those who have kind of doing their own lay work and you haven’t had official training. 

This is one of the best, most important things that my very first IFS coach slash therapist shared with me on our second session, almost in passing, but it changed everything.

In IFS there is a distinction between care taking parts and self energy, capital S E L F. 

My very first exposure to IFS was with leadership coach, Rebecca Ching. 

On our second call, she was like, oh, by the way, don’t coach your parts.

Now I can translate that to don’t teach your parts, don’t parent your parts and don’t coach your parts.

There is a presence, an acclimation with self energy, that is so powerful for all these parts that try to control and fix everything.

These are called Care Taking Parts.

Model of SELF-Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles of IFS

To slow the process down and to allow yourself and your parts to attune. Energetically & physically, without words for a moment just to be in the presence. Just the powerful witness and listening will soften the tension in these parts and they will relax and let self lead.

There are eight “C”s of Self:

Calm, Connected. Compassionate. Curious. Confident. Creative. Clear. and Courageous.

There is no specific order.

Love,

Allison

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Resources:
Rebecca Ching, LMFT, Leadership Developer

Become a member of Soulies Self-Leadership Society:
www.coachwithallison.com