Hello, Smart and Soulful Business Owners

I’ve been learning some stuff and I’m going to share it with you because I want you to learn it too and I don’t want it to have to take you 50 years to learn.

What I want to tell you is about these fucking fire ants. 

I’ve tried to use my brain to solve the problems of my heart and thus depression, thus anxiety, thus overthinking.

A couple of months ago, I hit some really deep pockets in my own personal work and there were parts of me that did not like that I was going down into my body to feel some shit I really needed to feel.  

I went over to my friend Laura’s house for a girl’s night and parked in her driveway. The next day I had ants all over my car, my truck was covered in ants, fire ants. It took me about a week to fully get rid of ants.

Then a few weeks later, I was really angry and my husband was struggling with some stuff too. I said, you know what? I need to get some of this anger out so we go out to the lake by my house, we park the truck and we get out.

He’s angry and I’m angry. We’re not angry at each other and I said, “Hey, yell at the sky and the lake.”

He just looks at me like I’m fucking nuts and I’m yelling and I’m like, “Fuck so-and-so fuck and fuck so-and-so and this inner work is hard.”

All of a sudden I looked down and my tennis shoes and socks were covered in fire ants that were stinging me.

What is your instinct to get the fire ants off? 

Immediately, my whole body starts moving. I’m flapping, hitting my clothes to make them shake off, shaking my foot and also taking my hands to brush them off as fast as I can. 

My fire ant bites are still healing and I posted something like, “Trying to get rid of my rage and then I got bit from all these ants.” One of my clients was like, wow, you’ve got a lot of fire ant animal medicine. I wonder what the fire ants were trying to teach you.

I was like, “Nothing! My life is garbage! I just stand in fucking fire ants!

The other day I’m working my processes and I’m actually really listening to my emotions. I’m in partnership and in dialogue with them and I asked my depression, what information do you have for me?

And she says, “We are clogged with emotion and feeling. There are some things you actually need to feel and you need to stomp into the ground, you need to move this out of your body.” 

So I go for a walk. I’m walking and stomping and the more I’m complaining, the more the emotions well up and the more my brain sees the places my heart needs me to witness and discharge some of my grief.

Discharge it through tears, awareness isn’t enough. 

Yesterday I’m going back and debriefing my own experience of how did I clear that up so fast? Wouldn’t it be nice if I could move emotions through me more quickly, because after I moved these emotions, I’ve experienced a lot of vitality and flow and clarity that I’ve been really missing for awhile.

When you unclog the your pipes, the water can flow and my body then reminds me of the fire ants.

Love,

Allison

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