Facing your husband’s emotional abuse is gut wrenching. But it’s even harder when so-called helpers say things that make it worse. Here’s what you need to know about emotional battering you may experience from others.

If you’re married to an emotionally abusive man, here’s what emotional battering is, how your husband and others—sometimes unknowingly—contribute to this type of hidden abuse.

To learn if your husband is emotionally abusive, take this free emotional abuse quiz.

What Is Emotional Battering?

Emotional battering is a consistent pattern of words, actions, or behaviors intended to diminish, manipulate, or control a person. Unlike physical abuse, emotional battering is more subtle and insidious—making it difficult to identify and even harder to explain to others.

Your husband might lie to you constantly, manipulate you through kindness or fake loving acts, invalidate your feelings, or destroy your confidence with constant criticism and contempt. Worse, he may involve others, so you experience emotional battering from people in your church congregation or even neighbors.

If you’re experiencing emotional battering from by-standers regarding your husband’s behavior, you need support. Attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session TODAY.

Common Emotional Abuse Tactics

Being married to an emotionally abusive man means navigating daily complexities that are draining and painful. Some common tactics include:

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• Gaslighting: Making you question your memory, reality, or perceptions. For example, he may say, “I never said that,” even when you vividly remember he did.
  
• Constant Criticism: Regularly pointing out flaws, whether it’s your cooking, appearance, or parenting, to damage your confidence.
  
• Blame Shifting: Making you feel responsible for his behavior or blaming you for problems in the relationship.
  
• Stonewalling or Silent Treatment: Refusing to engage in meaningful conversations, leaving you feeling invalidated and powerless.
  
• Public Embarrassment: Mocking or undermining you in front of friends or family to isolate you and damage your self-esteem.
  
• Emotional Withholding: Withholding affection, love, or support to punish or control you.
  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stIYXY2KCME

How Others May Be Pulled into Emotional Battering

Often, emotionally abusive men are charming to others but cruel behind closed doors. This charm can lead others—friends, family, or even counselors—to unknowingly contribute to your emotional pain. Here’s how:

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• Enablers: Some people might dismiss your claims because they see him as a “good guy” and can’t imagine him being abusive. Phrases like “He seems like such a great husband” feel invalidating and painful.
  
• Flying Monkeys: These are people he influences to support his narrative. They might approach you with statements like “You’re overreacting” or “He’s just under a lot of stress,” that hurt you because it’s not true.
  
• Well-Meaning but Harmful Advice: Comments like “Marriage takes compromise” or “Have you tried being more understanding?” can make you feel the abuse is your fault or that you’re not doing enough.
  
• Social Isolation: He may paint you as overly sensitive, dramatic, or clingy to others, isolating you from the support you need.
  

Signs You May Be a Victim of Emotional Battering

It’s important to understand the symptoms of being subjected to emotional abuse. If these resonate with you, you may be experiencing emotional battering:

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• Constantly doubting yourself and your decisions.
  
• Feeling like you’re “walking on eggshells” around your husband.
  
• Experiencing anxiety or depression as a result of the relationship.
  
• Struggling to explain his behavior to friends or family because he’s outwardly charming.
  
• Feeling isolated or unsupported, even by those close to you.
  

Transcript: How To Protect Your Thoughts From Emotional Battering