In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I talk about some things that came out of our conversation in The Haven around the prompt, “I can’t wait”.

What do you struggle to wait for?

This phrase contains potential for some playful excavation. You’ve probably uttered these words. I have, many times!

Sometimes, we have to wait for possibilities, situations, and people to arrive, change, or evolve. Waiting can be painful, exciting, or boring.

Resistance to waiting uses a lot of energy. One of my favourite places to observe this is in liminal spaces such as airports, lobbies, and queues (lines).

An individual with potent, impatient energy can infect a whole crowd. Our nervous system can sense this coiled-spring-energy around us. It might seek to establish safety and connection through co-regulation or ignite into dysregulation, sensing strong fight/flight readiness in the environment.

I wonder what comes to mind for you when you think about the phrase:

• For the next episode.
  
• For kickoff.
  
• To feel better.
  
• Around.
  
• To get on the road.
  
• To get this over with.
  
• To get there.
  
• …it makes me testy.
  
• To see you.
  
• For this to start.
  
• For this to end.
  
• To leave.
  
• For the lunch break.
  
• To go.
  
• …it makes me anxious.
  
• To get home.
  
• …I need to keep myself busy.
  
• More to add? Pop them in the forum!
  

The saying goes that “a stitch in time saves nine”. So, if you notice an issue, you can fix it now rather than wait for it to unravel.

But it’s also true that an impatient stitch today can create chaos down the line, and the right thing to do is pause, assess options, and wait for a better fix. We throw time, money, and energy into things to avoid waiting. We might replace being useful (informed decision-making) with feeling useful (just doing something). When we do this, we can incur more expenses and amplify the problems in the long run.

How much present pain is caused by the fact we couldn’t wait and so rushed into a decision?

Highly sensitive people will often pause to check before taking action. This checking reflects the depth of processing and takes place mainly beyond conscious awareness in the nervous system. It can sometimes mean that others must wait for HSPs to get on board, get started, and decide.

Sometimes, this pause is frustrating because it can happen with decisions about inconsequential things that are safe and enjoyable. But there are many situations where sensitivity can either reinforce and solidify a particular course of action (reasons why it makes sense) or zoom out and consider logical byproducts of taking the proposed path (reasons why we will regret this down the line). Through its deeper processing, sensory sensitivity provides vital checks and balances to the quick-to-act instincts of others. Both are necessary elements for successful collective survival and flourishing. However, sensitive voices often get lost in the noise, especially when they are not valued and encouraged by the broader culture.

• Where do we have to wait?
  
• What do we find it hard to wait for?
  
• What do we lose when the wait is over?
  
• What does waiting give us?
  
• What impact do people who can’t wait have on us?
  

There are many angles from which we can look at these words.

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