The Gentle Rebel Podcast

The Gentle Rebel Podcast


37 | How Does Change Happen?

September 23, 2023

This is the second of three episodes in a mini-series looking at questions around the theme of change. Last time, we explored the signs and signals that tell us something has changed or is ready to change. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we will take the next step in helping the change happen.


You can download our digital cue cards to help you navigate a season of change.


If the idea of a calm and connected 60-minute call with me sounds helpful, we can focus on an area of life you’re looking to integrate or instigate change in a Pick The Lock session. Learn more here.


How does change happen? Watering a plant.
How Does Change Happen?

So, you know that something has shifted or is ready to change. How do you integrate that into life? What needs to happen to move it from awareness into embodied reality?


These ideas came out of our Haven Theme Kota at the start of September. They are not all relevant and appropriate for everything and everyone. But some might stir new insights and open up horizons so that more creative options can occur to us down the line.


I expand on each of these in the episode.


Spontaneously Ripping Off The Bandage

Sometimes, the best way to instigate change is to get on with it. We might be waiting forever if we’re waiting for the perfect time. Maybe there’s a spontaneous impulse urging us to move on to something important. We might know that if we leave it too long, we will overthink and second-guess the decision to the point of inaction.


In Fits and Starts

Change is messy. There are impactful days and days where nothing much happens. By expecting fits and starts change, we can give the process (and ourselves) grace and understanding.


Through Habits and Behaviours

Change happens over time when we take consistent actions that contribute to it. By identifying where we want to get, we can figure out the habits that will get us there. We become less daunted by the big picture by focusing on small behaviours.


A Spirit of Creative Experimentation and Play

Sometimes, change is less about a specific outcome and more about a reorientation. When we engage with the world through a spirit of experimentation and play, we can encounter new possibilities and find opportunities to move in directions that wouldn’t otherwise occur to us.


Simplicity and Slowness

We might demand change happen quickly and obviously. But it’s helpful to remember that change often occurs on its own timeline once we set the coordinates. The more we let it do its thing, the deeper and more sustainable the growth might become.


With Planning and Consideration

We might want to wait before we act. Planning and preparation are useful. But it’s also helpful to know how much is enough so that we can get started. What don’t we need in place before we start?


When You Take Your Eyes Off The Prize

When we check in and become aware of our relationship with change, we might realise that the outcome is no longer critical. We might have already gained what we needed from the experience. Is it still necessary? Relevant? Helpful? Or am I focused on achieving an outcome that is no longer required?


Goals are helpful until they’re not. They help us identify a meaningful direction to move. Still, if we become tethered to the outcome as the only measure of success, we might compromise other, more important values and priorities.


Due To Necessity and Survival

Sometimes, we have no choice but to instigate a change. Change, in this sense, happens when we get away from a situation, environment, or behaviour. Once the dust settles and the adrenaline wears off, we can choose the path we want to move along.


With Help, Support, and Encouragement

Sometimes, change happens because of other people or alongside other people. We don’t have to do everything alone. There are often more opportunities to enlist help than we realise.


Mindset Shifts

On the one hand, change occurs when we shift an old mindset and adopt a new one. But it’s also true that our perspective often changes when we take action.


There are many ways we can help change move from possibility to reality. I’d love to hear any experiences that come to mind for you as you listen to this episode. In the next part, I will share our responses to staying motivated during a season of change.


How do we keep moving in the desired direction once the excitement, novelty, and initial push wears off?


Pause and Listen

Try not to act until you know which state the voice of change is speaking through. Gut instinct and intuition can come from different sources.


Ask yourself: Am I currently in a defensive (urgency/panic) or connected (creative/flexible) state?


Notice how you finish the sentences, “the world is…and I am…” (in a defensive state, you will see words that indicate a sense of threat and scarcity, e.g. the world is hostile and I am lost, or the world is demanding and I am getting left behind). This idea is from Deb Dana’s book, Anchored.


Find a cue (e.g. a favourite song, memory, or image) that helps you move into connection and safety concerning your capacity to navigate change within your spirit of possibility, curiosity, and creativity. Now, complete the sentences again: “The world is…and I am…” (in a connected state, you might say, “The world is beautiful, and I am open to what it wants to show me.”)


From a state of connection, invite yourself to reflect on these questions:


  • Which options above resonate with how I want to approach this change?
  • What action could I take right now to help make this happen?

Does this feel like a time of change for you? I’d love to hear more. Please let me know in the comments, drop me a message, or mention me if you share this episode on social media.



Download the Free Digital Cue Cards Via The Haven