"I want it to look like someone's shat through a binbag full of sick."

"Once in Royal Derek's City?"

"Why does Woody Allen eat so many eggs?"

"I'm over here y'twat!"

"Fire and crumpets and a broomstick up his arse!"

"He thought he was going to stroke a nice pink Hippo!"

"Imagine how much it has to eat to feed its six back passages!"

"I'd like two Irish chaps and an American!"

"Making love? I've got suede seats!"

Reg realises that, as it is the first Tuesday of the month, it is Archie's turn to pick up the bar bill. This is, of course, disgusting! Can it be that Reg is really that mean?Anyway, does anyone remember Daft Kenneth? Annoying boy from Prestwic...