No man is an island, even Captain Handsome, who recently returned from an island and would now very much like to be one but has instead settled for erecting a set of boundaries around himself as though he were a patch of arable land in fifteenth-century England. (Those guys said that it was ‘necessary’ for ‘improvement’ too, you know.) Also wrongly, Beautiful Fairy Princess’ criticises the term ‘lived experience’ for implying its opposite, and postgraduate education for being pointless, before questioning the universal appeal of equine-human–human relationships, which makes it all the more painful to know that she will never read my forthcoming postdoctoral thesis, ’Stable For Two: A Speculative Autoethnographic Study of My Alternate Life Spent Brushing Glorious Horselady Andrea Savage’.

Plus:
• Reading with one’s eyes makes an unexpected comeback
• The nascent anti-generativity movement
• Hitchslappers™: gloves for patting Ross’ dog
• The CPAP machine-based economy
• Sleep vs. sex, and if you quote the Old El Paso ad I’m calling the police
• The ongoing crisis of sext response times
• Substacking it in
• Decrease your word power today!
• Yah, yah, Pendah Mawt
• My brother knows a guy who knows Belle Gibson