To value another the way God values them means seeing them as they truly are, a treasure of immeasurable worth. People are not a means to an end. In other words, whether we agree or disagree with someone has nothing to do with their inherent value. I could disagree with someone’s opinions, beliefs, or actions, but it shouldn’t change the acceptance I have for them as a human being and the dignity with which I regard them. Remember, our dignity comes from the fact that God is who he is and that he showed his value for us when he purchased us with the price of his own Son.

It’s amazing what happens when we begin to see others in this light. It actually begins to change how we view ourselves. Suddenly, we’re more capable of realizing our own worth is unwavering. It doesn’t matter if we are right or wrong, perfect or imperfect. Reminding ourselves that our neighbor’s value doesn’t change helps us recognize the same is true of us. We begin to accept that truth at a deeper level. Recognizing this about others affords us greater objectivity and, in the long run, the lesson blesses our view of ourselves, as well. In a very real way, we begin to see the circumstances of the day as scenery on the journey to an ever-deepening reception of God’s gift of himself. Less and less is offensive.  Less and less disturbs our peace. More and more is recognized as gift until all is seen as a personal, intimate self-gift of God.

There’s an ironic consequence of treating people with value regardless of if they agree or cooperate with us. It’s that they begin to agree and cooperate a lot more. When we are treated like our value is contingent on someone’s approval of us, it can cause us to shut down because that estimation is fundamentally not true and we know it intuitively, even if we don’t know it consciously. Remember, openness is a byproduct of having our boundaries respected, being valued, and being seen as good. We cannot make cooperation the goal. To do so sabotages the very point; we all have the same value no matter what.

Regardless of our best efforts, we can’t make each other feel valued and accepted. Once I worked with a client who was completely convinced I was judging and rejecting her. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. I had actually struggled with some things in very much the same way she did and felt great compassion for her. It pained me not to be able to alleviate her pain caused by her belief that I saw her with condemnation, but it was not within my ability to do so. The issue was the lenses through which she viewed herself. I had to stay in the place of being accepting and fight the temptation to try to control her. To force my acceptance on her would have violated her boundaries and would have been fighting a losing battle. It was helpful to remind myself that she could only connect with me to the extent she was connected to herself. In situations like that, we can trust that the Lord loves the other person way more than we possibly could and his ability to heal is infinitely greater.

May the Lord give you peace!

Margaret

The post Valuing and Being Valued appeared first on Ultimate Christian Podcast Radio Network.