Waking Up to Narcissism
Pathological Kindness: When Caring, Trying, and Empathizing Too Much Can Be Bad For Your Health
Do you find yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own? Have you ever wondered if being "too kind" could actually be harmful to your relationships and well-being? In today’s crossover episode - Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, explores the complex concept of pathological kindness in relationships. Through a listener's letter from 'Cleo,' Tony delves into the challenges faced by those who prioritize others' needs to their detriment, often rooted in childhood experiences of being the family peacemaker. Cleo's story highlights issues with her emotionally inconsistent partner, Ray, unveiling the struggles of living with someone emotionally immature or narcissistic. Tony discusses recognizing these patterns, including the role of cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding in maintaining unhealthy relationships. He explores how highly sensitive people (HSPs) may be particularly vulnerable to these dynamics. The episode emphasizes the importance of developing a stable core identity, setting boundaries, and balancing kindness with self-care. Tony also touches on the challenges of breaking free from intermittent reinforcement in relationships and recognizing and trusting one's own perceptions. He stresses the role of therapy and self-awareness in breaking free from unhealthy cycles and fostering emotionally mature relationships while also offering hope to those who recognize themselves as the emotionally immature partner and want to change.
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Promotion
01:19 Introducing Cleo's Story
03:16 Cleo's Relationship Struggles
10:38 Understanding Pathological Kindness
16:28 The Impact of Pathological Kindness
21:36 Balancing Kindness and Self-Care
25:09 Exploring Self-Reliance and Its Pitfalls
25:24 The Dual Nature of Optimism
25:40 Understanding Humility and Self-Deprecation
26:26 The Complexities of Honesty
27:09 Patience vs. Passivity
27:24 Competence and Arrogance
28:00 Cleo's Relationship with Ray
29:04 The Struggle of Highly Sensitive People
29:48 The Challenge of Leaving Toxic Relationships
33:23 The Cognitive Dissonance and Trauma Bonding
45:04 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries
46:03 Encouragement for Personal Growth
If you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, https://www.tonyoverbay.com
If you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, https://www.tonyoverbay.com