Waking Up to Narcissism

Waking Up to Narcissism


DARVO, Differentiation and Detangling Difficult Dynamics

May 31, 2024

Tony delves deep into the DARVO technique—Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender—a common manipulation strategy often used by narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals to avoid accountability and shift blame. Tony explores the origins of DARVO, shares various examples, and introduces concepts like differentiation and David Schnarch's Four Points of Balance to navigate and manage emotionally abusive relationships. Learn how to identify and counter DARVO tactics and discover ways to improve emotional maturity and self-awareness in your relationships.


00:00 Welcome and Introduction

00:18 Understanding Acronyms

02:24 Introduction to DARVO

03:35 Breaking Down DARVO

05:52 Recognizing and Responding to DARVO

06:15 Introducing Pat and Chris

09:45 Differentiation and Four Points of Balance

25:48 Managing Stress and Anxiety

26:11 Changing Your Relationship with Thoughts

27:14 Calming Your Heart and Managing Emotions

28:09 Physical Reactions to Emotions

30:45 Grounded Responding in Relationships

31:12 Overreacting vs. Underreacting

33:08 Handling Criticism and Feedback

39:43 Meaningful Endurance and Personal Growth

47:02 Applying the Four Points of Balance

50:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts


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