CHOICE: Podcast 9: 
VOICE FROM AN URN: CHAPTER 6
In Podcast #8, Viga Boland's father left Germany for Australia. Her mother was to follow with her as soon as her father had a home for them. In Podcast#9, mother and daughter arrive in Australia. Will her mother regret her choice to leave Germany and the man she has fallen in love with? Listen...
It's been a year since Bogdan left and now, our ship, the Fairsea, is docking in Melbourne. Little Viga is excited, wanting me to hold her up so she can see everything. She can't wait to see her “real” daddy. I wish I shared her excitement at seeing Bogdan again. I'm terrified.
The voyage has been rough, sharing a tiny, tiny cabin with an older woman who complained every time Viga whined about feeling nauseous, as I did, with the rocking motion of the ship. And sometimes, Viga would just scream...scream a lot when she suddenly remembered watching Leszchek's broken figure become smaller and smaller in the distance as the ship set out to sea. And when he was no more, I screamed too, but only on the inside where no one could hear my despair at leaving him.
"Don't go," Leszchek had urged. "Stay with me. I will look after you and Jadwiga as if she were my own." Leszscek had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "I love you so much my heart is breaking at the thought I'll never see you or hold you both again. Don't do this. Don't leave me."
I had sobbed in his embrace while Viga, looking up at us both, clung to my skirt. Why was mommy crying? Wasn't Leszchek coming with us? Where were we going?"
"I can't stay, Leszchek. I must go. Bogdan is my husband and Viga is his child. I have no choice." I was dying inside as I said words I didn't want to say, words I wished weren't true.
"Yes you do, my love," Leszchek said. "We always have a choice." The desperation in his voice matched that of my heart. "We can run away...back to Poland. No one will look for us there. We can start a new life together."
"We can't go back to Poland, Leszchek. There's nothing left for anyone there. Where will we live? How will you find work?"
I wished my words weren't lies. I wished so much that we could do what he suggested. I loved Leszchek as I could never love Bogdan. It had happened so easily, so naturally and quickly. And it was so wrong. I knew it but hadn't been able to stop myself. And now, I had to leave him. My heart was breaking along with his.
"Please, don't make it any harder for me than it already is Leszchek. I must go to my husband. I belong to him."
I watched him acquiesce and crumble in front of me.
"I wished I'd never seen you that day," he said quietly. Then he smiled. "Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn't until I saw you. I should have stayed away from you after he left, but I couldn't help myself. You were forbidden fruit and I gave into the temptation. Forgive me."
He'd grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing it tenderly, almost respectfully. "Forgive me, Jadwiga, for loving you and your child so much. I know I have no right to you or her. And I have no right to put you in the position of making a choice. But I will be here for you if you ever change your mind."
I can see Bogdan now. He stands out in the massive throng of people waiting on the dock to welcome family and loved ones to Australia, a new land of sun, beaches and hope for a better future. He looks fantastic: tall, suntanned to a golden bronze, lean and fit from several months of digging trenches for the Sydney public works. Any woman would love to be seen with him...any woman but me. My heart belongs to Leszchek but my future belongs to Bogdan.
“Dada, Dada,” squeals Viga as he hoists her up in his arms, hugging her tightly, kissing her rosy cheeks and tousling her blond head of hair.
“Oh my little girl! How I’ve missed you. I couldn’t wait to see you. Look how you’ve grown already.