No one ever said marriage was easy, but strengthening your marital bonds is so worth it! In this episode, Felice shares tips for those who are struggling as well as those who want to make their marriage stronger.

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Listen to this past episode Loving Your Spouse, here.

There is a war out there, and the enemy is rampant, trying to destroy marriages. Even if you are not a Christian, you know there is a way against the sanctity of marriage and life in general. Good marriages are the very fabric of a moral society. It makes a people, a nation strong, which is why there is such an attack on marriage. I believe God ordains that marriage, and we should include Him in our marriage. I heard a talk recently that said, …Marrying someone is an incredibly important thing…Who you choose to be your spouse in so many ways impacts the trajectory of your life. And it determines the trajectory of your family’s life. For good and for ill – it is hard to look back and recognize that hindsight is 20/20. This is true, but we don’t have to give into the culture or our times; we can walk in the assurance that (if you are a Christian) God is there for us, and He can walk with us every step of the way. While I could say so much more about this, I want to give you practical tips on working around every day interruptions and ways to make an action plan to get your marriage back on track or stronger each day.

My husband and I are opposite in many ways, but we are the same in the ways that count, faith and family. We know without a shadow of a doubt that we will never get divorced and will work through our issues as they arise. These are things you don’t read in the checklists online or the ideas on rekindling the romance, great date night ideas, or ways to make your marriage work when you fall on hard times. The idea is the same in all of these lists; the resounding theme is to be present for your spouse and show them that you care about their thoughts. No one’s opinion should matter to you as much as your spouse’s. While this may seem simplistic, it is as important as good communication.

(Personal message on the podcast, not in the show notes.)

My husband and I have been a mentor couple for engaged couples seeking marriage at our church. It has been an eye-opener. Our job is to point them toward a Christian marriage and relationship that centers on God, and the program we use depends on each person’s character. Truthfully, the biggest part of our mentorship is talking to the couples and discussing what we wish we had known before getting married. Truthfully, we were probably told some of these things before we were married, but no one sat us down and said, “Let’s get real about marriage.”

The movies are full of happily ever after, and our eyes and hearts want to believe that will be our story until reality hits in the form of a child. For some of you, the reality may have hit before you had your first child, but most of us are not prepared. I know I wasn’t, even though my husband and I had parents who were examples of faithfulness and Christian love for each other. Still, we had to learn our own way and the best method.

And that is the theme of this podcast, learning your own way through your relationship with your spouse and strengthening those marital bonds. Start with a plan. I know it sounds unromantic, but we have plans for everything. Why not an analysis of your marriage and ways to improve it? The best way to begin is by analyzing what has worked and does not work in your current relationship.

1. What do I like the best about my marriage? Make a list.
   
2. How can you keep nurturing the things that work in your marriage?
   
3. What is not working and why? (Volunteering too much? Running kids to too many activities? Etc.)
   
4. How can you work on the areas that are not working?
   

Talk – the only way to strengthen your marital bonds is to have a date, even if it is time when the kids are in bed, and you are behind closed doors in your bedroom with your beverage of choice. Use the list above, or please, create your own and ask each other these questions. Maybe your spouse will be like mine and cross out the questions and write in their own!

Tips For Good Marriages:

1. Say, “I love you,” often, especially when signing off on the phone.
   
2. Be present for each other.
   
3. Look into your spouse’s eyes when you are talking to each other.
   
4. When your spouse tries to kiss you, quit trying to get away!
   
5. Don’t expect a balanced marriage; it is 100% all of the time.
   
6. Be kind to each other.
   
7. Listen when the other spouse talks, and don’t interrupt.
   
8. Expect the best from each other.
   
9. Make the most of your time together.
   
10. Forgive.
    

If we love each other, we want what is best for each other—doing the little things each day helps. Putting up sticky notes with hearts or texting is wonderful. My husband texts me and asks if his girlfriend wants to go to dinner. I have to remind myself to say yes!  (Talk about filling my husband’s plate and kids being annoyed; caring for each other with those little things works!

Let me end with two things. One is that if you are in a physically or emotionally harmful marriage, get help. Now. There are things we put up with as spouses, but abuse needs help. The second is that be assured I will pray for you and your spouse and that your marriage is strengthened today and always!

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