This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: How to be a Sports Mom.

Homeschool High School Podcast, brought to you by seven sisters homeschool.com and the Ultimate Homeschool podcast network. I am here with my seven sister, Kim. It’s so good to be with you, Kim. Great to be with you too, Vicki. Always. Yeah. Yeah. We miss. Sabrina when she’s not here. But it’s fun when we just talked to Oh yeah.

So, uh, one of the things that I have been thinking about this season is sharing homeschool mom’s experiences with everybody’s different kinds of homeschooling. Oh. And, uh, you know, ’cause there’s not one right way to homeschool and just to get inspiration or, um, tips from somebody that’s already been there on certain kinds of homeschooling, I think is a really fun thing to do.

So. Mm-hmm. In, in our seven sisters group, the sports mom. The sports mom is Kim Smy. So we, I thought we talked today about being a homeschool sports mom and you’ve got stories. It is one of my favorite parts of my life, I have to say. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Lots and lots of great adventures and experiences. Yeah.

Let’s talk about like your, your family and who did sports and about what sports they did, and then let’s go in, let’s, as stories come to mind, just tell ’em. Okay. I have favorite stories I remember that you would tell, you know, because Yeah. Well you have lots of experiences. Yeah. Feel free to ask for some of your favorite.

Um, yeah, so I have, we have four children. And, um, the old, when I was, I don’t know, when they were young, like, um. There’s a six year span in among them. There’s twins at the bottom. So, um, so our oldest, um, and, well, I’m sorry, lemme back up a smidge. Um, they had friends, we had family friends, and most of those moms worked at our local YMCA.

Ah, those kids, when they went to the YMCA, they got to play in the gym and they got to swim in the pool. All that fun stuff. And so one time when all the families were together, the kids must have all been talking, and the kids all came up to me and they’re like, mommy, you should work at the YMCA, so we could go play there too with our friends.

And it happened that the moms heard and they’re like, oh, well there’s an opening. Oh, you should blah, blah, blah. I had zero interest in working at the. I, I, I was doing other things that were taking up more than enough time. But anyway, we started, we started working at the YMCA and one of the great benefits of that was all of the sports that my kids wanted to try there mm-hmm.

Were, and they were very reasonable to start with. And our family membership was included in my job. So I got very little take home pay, but it had a lot of pay, you know, big rewards. Yeah. Yeah. So at the time, I think our youngest were about four and, uh, the oldest was probably she. Yeah. She was like maybe 10, and then bear, uh, he would’ve been like eight.

He wanted, he started playing roller hockey and mm-hmm. The twin daughters, they wanted to play everything there was mm-hmm. Wanted to play soccer. And she had tried like community softball one season. Um, they did swim at our neighborhood pool. We had friends. Mm-hmm. Friends and their kids swim at the neighborhood pool.

So they did that. Um, and um, literally some of the best friends that we made, I was on a Zoom call last night with some homeschool mom friends who we met when our kids played YMCA soccer when they were in third grade, and they are now in their thirties. Mm-hmm. So those rewards so much bigger than any sport or any trophy or any, um, you know, even any experience.

And there are plenty of of great experiences there. So. Um, and then, uh, let’s see. So hold, hold on. So this is, this is a thing about Kim is Kim is the kind of mom who is always busy because Kim is always busy. But when her kids have a definite idea, they come to Kim and say, mm-hmm. I, I, I would like to do this.

And so your kids came and said, we wanna be at the Y. And so Kim, who is not sitting around with nothing to do mm-hmm. Um, does the kind of Kim thing and starts working at the Y to enable their time at the Y And that brought all kind of richness of experience. But just like I have seen over and over. The years mm-hmm.

Is when we get involved in something to help our kids out. We moms make homeschool mob friends and those friendships tend to stick around for a long time. So you blessed your kids, did some sacrifice and God blessed you by giving you some special friends. Oh my goodness. Yes. Yes. And actually hearing you respond off of that reminded me, um, that did sort of become a pattern with our family.

Um, and, um, growing up I lived, um, one block from the softball fields in our, I grew up in Northeast Philadelphia. Oh my goodness. Um, I would see the kids in the spring playing softball. Mm-hmm. And I desperately wanted to play softball. Um, I was never super good at sports, but I was always interested in being active.

Mm-hmm. But our family’s situation, that was just not an option. Mm-hmm. Um, I, you know, I played with the kids in the neighborhood when, when we could. Um, and then we had lots of other work to do and things, so, you know, as the kids kind of did their thing. Um, the, the twin daughters, they wanted to try every single sport and their brothers started playing roller hockey and they started playing roller hockey, and the three of them loved roller hockey.

Mm-hmm. Loved soccer. So that was her thing. Um, and she more loved the team, I think, than actually the sport. It was a thing to do for her, but it was not a, um, yeah. Your oldest is more a people person than a sports person. Yes. The way to be with people and, and Oh my, but her soccer coach that we had, um, we’re not so much in touch anymore, but we were, we were in touch and he was such an incredible.

Teacher to her, and really to all of us. We learned a lot about coaching, which we eventually did from, from being with him and not, not the nuts and bolts of the sport. I’m talking the Ted lasso kind of Oh, and, and, and some, some sport related things, but, um, more psychology and belief and faith and, and, um, people’s kind of skills, uh, which all of our kids learned a ton of from playing sports.

They learned about leadership. They learned about working, you know, working for a coach that you sometimes that you like. Mm-hmm. Working for a coach maybe that you don’t like. You know, when your kids got that coach, that was a screamer. Your family dynamic is not to yell at your kids all the time or having your kids watch that other team and say, oh mom, you know, please don’t put me on that coach’s team.

Yeah. Yeah. Pull up and, and whatever. So that was a really interesting phenomenon too. But the youngest two were the ones, um, who, for whom it was the biggest passion. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, so Kyle loved it, bear loved it. And somewhere when, when the guys hit, uh, puberty, maybe, um, the group that we had been very, very close with, with, with uh, bear’s team, all of a sudden that just didn’t seem like such a good fit anymore for him.

Mm-hmm. High level skill. Mm-hmm. But, and competition, but not, um, not the intensity of the meanness or the, the judgment and those kinds of things that can sometimes go with that. Yes. Right. Uh, so he switched over to soccer. Mm-hmm. Really great teams and some really not so good teams. He, he played a season of travel and there.

It didn’t win a game until the very end of the season, and that was one of those super character building things for all of us. Our first experience with travel sports. Um, and he now in his thirties, plays volleyball multiple times a week with all different kinds of wonderful people, and they, he’s now invited us into his circle of volleyball friends, and they take us to the Blue Rocks with them.

Our local baseball team, when they go to a baseball game and. And, and we’ve, it’s just really, it’s so beautiful. He, they invite us to tournaments and he now plays on a, on a two person volleyball team with one of his younger sisters, close friends. And, um, it’s just really, really sweet to see how sports have stayed in their lives in different ways.

So for him, his, his sports. Was about the right personality of the sport. Mm-hmm. And the community. Yeah. So he never had a drive to, I wanna go play professional. You know, like he, he was it like, what’s this about as far as my, my personal growth and connections, and I remember watching him at high school level soccer.

Mm-hmm. He just liked what he was doing. He, he, he just really liked it. And, uh, now as an adult, that’s his community. Like that’s, that’s his connections. And can you imagine like for folks of us that have grown homeschoolers and they’re out in the world doing their grownup stuff for them to invite us to do anything, right?

Yeah, that’s an honor. I have to say, like I don’t see other parents, you know, maybe a, a spouse or a significant other here or there, but we generally don’t see other parents around and they’re all very welcoming of us being there. It is very, it’s a very interesting dynamic. Yeah. But you’re a, you’re a people person too, so I can see you being very comfortable in whatever group you’re in, even if it’s your kids’ volleyball team.

So, yeah. Now your your your twins though. They’re your twins are the age and really good friends with my youngest and his wife. So they all grew up together. And your twins are the sports kids. They They are, yeah. It’s, it’s a lot of what makes them tick. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, yeah. So one of my favorite stories with them, which might be one of yours.

Um, I won’t tell it in all the details ’cause it’ll take a little too long and I don’t know if I’m quite free to share all of the mm-hmm. Because they were in middle school and they think it’s embarrassing. I think it’s adorable, but it’s one of my favorite stories. Yeah. And there is a video, which I will not release of course.

But, um, they did the most adorable thing. And this, you know, uh, this dates back a while. They, they literally went and got, um, they’d been playing roller hockey for, for, I don’t know, you know, a number of years. And, um, they had always, I, I grew up in northeast Philadelphia when the Philadelphia Flyers were winning the Stanley Cups.

Mm-hmm. Hockey was, we would watch it on television and what happened? More like there was a time in my life when I was very, very into it and I had kind of backed off on that. But, um, they love to watch some of the Disney movies and Mighty Ducks was a family. Mm-hmm. Movie. It’s just one of those good fields Day, you know?

Yeah. You know. Um, and they one time watched that movie for the, who knows how many at the time. And hubby and I, we went to bed. It was late. We were tired. We were like, we’re gonna bed. We’ve seen the end of this movie. Enjoy. And they knock on our door, can we play ice hockey? And the Philadelphia Flyers fan and me thinks, oh, that would be fun.

And the academy goes, oh no. Um, and I have to tell you, it was so cute. They actually, they made up a presentation, like a marketing presentation, and shared it with me first. I guess. They figured I was a good, you know, and then. He got home that day, they shared it with him, all the reasons that they should play ice hockey, and it was just hysterical.

So it was like the, the YMCA proposal on steroids, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, talk about like, just, just the blessings and the opportunities that came for, not only for them, but for our family through that. And it started with playing at the, our local University of Delaware. Has a wonderful, at that point, had a really nice little, uh, intro kind of program.

Mm-hmm. That they could step into. So, you know, 15 minutes from our house, they were even able to use most of their roller hockey equipment for a couple of days until we knew that wasn’t so safe. Um, and just over time, uh, a friend that I had from when I worked at the Y and I hadn’t worked there in years, and I stopped there one day ’cause I had to use the bathroom driving by.

In two minutes of conversation, found out that her son had played goalie for five times and hated it. And our daughter was a goalie and needed really expensive equipment that we couldn’t afford. Mm-hmm. So for like our Christmas budget, we were able to take it out of her garage and bless her and put it on our kid and keep her safe.

And just time after time, the, the teams that they ended up on. The opportunities they played, uh, briefly on what they, they call the old ladies team. Um, and then the old ladies team had so many injuries they had to take a season off and they loved our girls so much that they were kind enough to say here, you know, they could, they could play other things.

They were playing upward sports, which if, mm-hmm. I gave a big plug to the YMCA. Mm-hmm. Have upward sports in your area, which is a faith related mm-hmm. They played flag football with friends at Upward Sports, and they were like, okay, we’ll do that if this doesn’t work. And one of those old ladies said, I know they’ll have a great time and they’ll do that and that’s great.

But she said, there’s nothing like being on a team with all girls and you know, and playing. She’s like, I grew up playing hockey with my brothers on the pond and all that stuff. She’s like, but it’s so special and it’s so fun. If they can ever. On a team because they were always kind of like the, the girls on the football team, they were like the exception and stuff.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Find a place so you can decide and you can have an opportunity. And that led us to one team, which led us to another team. And you know, like it was a team of older kids and the coach said. You know, I said, I don’t know. You know, our girls are pretty young and I don’t know, you know, that’s a big, big step.

And it was a further step in travel and he said, just come, just try it. And he’s, you know, the one was the goalie. Mm-hmm. I don’t know if she’s up to that level of play. And he said, we don’t have anyone. The girls are taking turns playing goalie, and so if the other team scores 24, we’ll have to score 25, like no one.

You know, just that kind of attitude and welcome. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We asked a lot of questions and we, you know, we weren’t, we tried our best not to be, you know, the, the parent that was always like mm-hmm. In faces and, you know, we don’t wanna be that parent. But we also tried to be very involved parents, very, um, so not have to be in charge of anything, but how can we help, what can we do, kind of thing.

And one of the things that, that God used. US four in all of this was as we started traveling further, we traveled further than we ever thought we would travel. And it was ’cause he took us baby steps. ’cause we never would’ve made that big step. Um, and there were, there was always, I can’t tell you how many prayers I prayed, not like please let this work out, but please just make it clear.

Mm-hmm. Supposed to be doing ’cause this doesn’t feel, I would think that we should be supposed to do. So let me, let me stop and point out some things. You know, having been your, your twins academic advisor. And so I watched the sports. Besides, we were all like co-oping classes and everything. Our kids are all friends and all.

So I watched this, this, um, sports career evolve with the twins. And one thing you guys did, you and your husband is you prayed, you know, like what’s, what’s the direction? Because for, for the, the twins are females, so y’all had to work harder to find resources as they got towards high school and wanted, you know, to play hockey with girls and Yes.

Can’t tell from this, but I’m like, five one on a good day. Yeah. They’re five, one and a, you know, one third, less of me on the, so there, yeah. So y’all did a lot of praying. Mm-hmm. Y’all did a lot of being willing to budget. Yeah. And to budget. Finances and budget time like y’all prioritized it. One thing I never saw you or your husband do is be the kind of sport parent that is, that the helicopter bulldozer yeller, like you missed that.

You did that. Like never, like you guys believed in your kids and you what, what I would hear y’all say to them is, you know, you’re leaders, your guides, you’re, you’re good people, you’re great athletes, like, um, affirmation and vision towards the kind of athlete that they could be. Yeah. And so that’s, that’s something what, what you and your husband modeled was character.

We always try and sacrifice and prayer. Yeah. And, and I have to say they were so blessed. I mean, there were some coaches that they were like, oh, this is really hard to play for this coach. Yeah. Basically because they had, they had played for other coaches. Um, they got to play for a coach who, um, refered Professional Women’s Hockey.

She is a physics teacher and she was just, you know, a wonderful mentor, role model, whatever. And so. Her to a coach who just, he just didn’t have the same kind of skills, didn’t mm-hmm. Um, you know, he was really trying. Mm-hmm. But was that kind of dad, you know, his kids were on the team too, and just would yell and scream and, you know, and we were just never that way.

A, we knew that if we were out there, we couldn’t do any better. And that’s one of the things. And we had, we were very, you know, blessed our kids. And this is not why we did it or anything else, but added to the experience because it made every season longer and it got us some really fun vacations. Um, their teams almost always ended up, and it was not because of skill, it was because of the teamwork.

Mm-hmm. Um, ended up going to championships, like nationals championships, both in, in club hockey and in college. Um, and there was one, one game, though, the very last game they played in their high school travel hockey. Mm-hmm. All the other parents were very much like that. There were only a couple of parents that were really kind of, um, you know, the stereotypical hockey parent that you would see on a, on a kid’s year or whatever.

Mm-hmm. Um, but the stress level, this game was like so good. It was such an exciting game. Um, but the, the players were really struggling, like they should typically would have been playing better than, and they, you know, parents expected it to go. And the couple of the dads who were really, really nice, you know, usually good cheerers, they started to lose it and they were starting to get very critical and everything.

They were good friends of mine and I actually went up to them and I was shaking when I did this, but I went up to them at intermission and I said. I just need you to know that I’m having a really hard time hearing all of this and knowing that our girls might be hearing this, who knows what they can really hear, but so, you know, I love sitting with all of you and cheering and everything, but I’m gonna go sit somewhere else.

I would love to sit with you all for this last game of our kids’ group, but I’m gonna go sit somewhere else because this is ruining it for me. They came up and apologized to me and they. They held it together for the end and were there for the kids. Which was super, super cool. That’s what this is. This is the, if we are going to talk about being a sports mom, which is what we’re doing, um, is to, to model the kind of character you would like to see in your kids.

Mm. And so that, that courage to stand up to people who are having really big emotions that aren’t helping anything. Yeah. And just to say, this is what I’m going to do with these big emotions. Yeah. And, and that affected Good. Now, you guys had a long relationship, all the travel and games that y’all had been to.

Yeah. Um, but nevertheless it took courage to model good character. Mm-hmm. And that’s what, you know, the, as a sports mom. The gift you gave your kids was not anxiety. Oh, my mom’s gonna be mad ’cause I missed this shot. Instead, they knew how to, like, I remember the, the coming to, we were doing a psychology class or something at co-op and the girls coming to me and saying.

We, everybody was stressed, so we did deep breathing together, you know, so they, they learned leadership and it made me very proud. ’cause we had just in psych class talked about deep breathing exercises. So that’s that family attitude of good character and leadership is really a gift that I think a sports mom mm-hmm.

Can give their kids. Alright, so you’re your, your twins. Played all the way to college level. They did, they did. There’s one quick travel thing I wanna put in there. Oh, okay. Yes. One thing, the, um, and I just came across a picture the other day. If I’d thought of it, I would’ve worn my shirt if I could find it.

Each year of that travel season, because we were traveling, you know, uh, we traveled an hour and a half each direction for practice. Some of you, if you live in a, a bright open area, that might even be nothing. Um, but that was a ton for us ’cause we’re in an area where there’s a lot of stuff here. Right.

Every year that coach honestly said to me, he’s like, there’s something about the Smites. Mm-hmm. Every year he paired us up just as a carpool, but it ended up being with. Uh, another player who maybe didn’t have the same family support or the fa mm-hmm. Dynamic or whatever. Um, and, um, you know, one, her parents were going through the, the whole, going through the whole process of a, a really messy divorce.

Another one. There was some addiction stuff in their family. Another one, it was just both parents worked a ton and they were really busy and this was not feasible for them otherwise. Um, we are still friends with all others. Um, um, one of them now has, is pregnant with her fourth kid and comes and visits us.

She lives in Florida. When she comes home, she comes and visit us. Oh. And they made me up a t-shirt for, and gave it to me for Christmas that said the minivan Squad. And they put each of their names on it, like as a team, um, which who played forward and who played goalie and who played all that. And um, so that was a, an incredible opportunity for us and for them.

Like, it’s not just like, oh, that’s a minister to people, which we did. Yes, but we got to love on people. And we, we get the back. Yeah. Some of their kids were in, kids have been in each other’s weddings. It’s yes. Really amazing. Yeah. That’s that life changing. That’s a, that’s again, y’all made it a mission field.

You made it a leadership, you made it character development and those kind of things bore beautiful fruits. Mm-hmm. So if you’re gonna be a sports mom, be a sports mom like Kim, and so you, to the best of your opinion. Yeah. So. Like God to use that. Yeah. And that’s, so when, when they, the girls were thinking about college.

Mm-hmm. Um, one of the things that we talked about was where could they go to college and continue their sports? Mm-hmm. I never heard them when I would talk to them about like staying up all night worrying about it. No. Um, but it was a drive for them. They wanted to. And, uh, fortunately, university of Delaware just happened to have women’s hockey, and so let’s talk a little bit about that.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So it was so funny, you know, your, your local school sometimes is either very appealing or very unappealing. Yeah. And so they were like, you know, it was sort of like. It’s an amazing school, but it sort of felt to them a little bit like an extension of high school because yeah, your guard and a whole bunch of people, you know, go there and everything.

So they didn’t wanna go there, but they, they knew they would like to play hockey, but they also knew they were very realistic about their academic needs. Mm-hmm. Um, and they know they had to work really, really hard for their grades. They were not students for whom academics came like supernaturally or ease, you know, um.

And they expected college to be harder than high school. Mm-hmm. So thanks to, thanks to Vicki and, and many of the other Seventh Sisters, their adjustment was much easier than they expected. Um, and, um. So they were hesitant to even look, but then they started looking at the University of Delaware and they’re like, you know what?

Yeah, this, this makes a lot of sense. And yes, they had a women’s club hockey team, so like they may have been good enough that some places they could have played like division three, um, you know, varsity hockey and they had lots of teammates who did those things, but they saw a teammate who was really good go to a D three school.

And sit on the bench a lot and not there’s anything wrong with sitting on the bench, but if you’re, if you want to play and be, you know, like what do you want your experience to be like? Right. Students go Who were. You know, grew up in a very metropolitan area and who were very used to going into New York City on a regular basis and things like that, go to very remote little New England schools where they re were recruited by a coach and got there and found out the coach over recruited or got, and they were really good and they were in the right level, but they got injured and they didn’t like the school where they were.

So they, they kind of did a lot of. Learning by watching around them as kind of played this travel hockey. And they were very blessed to be able to play on their team here. Um, in their backyard. They were able to be in because they had a good level that it was a good balance with their academics, able to participate in leadership.

Um, their team was really strong for a number of years. They went to National three outta their four years, um, which was always a blast to get to travel and, yeah. And again, made great friends with, with some of the other families. We, Carly and I were out in Chicago for a wedding and we met up with one of their teammates and went and visited lunch with her and, and, um, uh, and um, Carly was the first player to ever get to a hundred points, uh, score points in her career at, at.

Really kind of cool. Um, she doesn’t think, wouldn’t have thought of herself as that kind of a player. You know? She was always a really good scorer. But she’s also, um, wants to pass, she wants the team to score. Yeah. She’s a team player. She has character. Yeah. Um, and, and, and through, through help with Vicki, even back when they were in high school, they knew that they were interested in careers that had to do with sports.

Mm-hmm. Which made. Makes so much sense to put so much into their sports. Yeah. And uh, yeah, so they, they both ended up in leadership systems on the team and, um, Kendall ended up going to the University of Denver and has a master’s degree in sport and performance psychology. And um, and they both have had, they’ve both worked at the University of Delaware and they both have nice jobs now with it are sport related field.

Great experience for our family. Brought so much richness. Yeah. And so that’s, that’s what I just wanna encourage, um, moms who have a sports kid mm-hmm. That you don’t have to be the driven sports mom. You can be a Kim sports mom and, you know, work on, on character and fun and, uh, and the kids don’t have to because they love a sport.

They don’t have to. Turn into a driven, um, you know, like, like, I, I have to be a pro or, you know, like they can love the sport and invest in it and learn teamwork and leadership and play it as long as they want. Mm-hmm. And, you know, there will be a way if they, if it’s something they love. So when, when I, um.

Load the show notes with this episode. I’m gonna include interviews I’ve done with each of the girls. So, um, both Kendall and Carly have interviewed and told what it’s like going to college, you know, and given tips for college success because like you said, like some kids are born and they love studying and you know, they’re, they’re just study all day for fun.

And your, your girls are highly intelligent. But they have a very balanced bunch of loves. Mm-hmm. And so, um, you know, they had all kind of tips that they shared in these interviews for kind of your, your more normal, you know, more average college student, you know, not the ones that grew up. Um, just loving study, study all the time.

So, um, everybody will enjoy those interviews. So, Kim, this. So nice. Have the nostalgia and remember those days, like I, I have so many warm memories of the stories they would tell when I would see them. Oh, yeah. And stories you would tell. So we could go on for hours. We could, yeah. Yeah. But I just wanna wrap it up by sharing that the, uh, relationships and those things, it’s still continuing.

And that, uh, in the, in the. Uh, spring, I guess it was in April. Kendall and Carly and I drove up to Utica, New York together, had a little mini field trip and went to a game of the Women’s World Championship ice hockey and got to see some of the best players in the world, the ones that on the teams play.

We saw US Canada game, um, and on Sunday, um, we’re going up to, um, a women’s professional game that they bought. Christmas. So, um, it’s, uh, it, it stays a joy for your family. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They’re sharing it back with us now. Yeah. So. Awesome. All right, well this has been the Homeschool High School podcast.

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