INAM 25-16 Summary: Is It a Dream or Just a Fantasy? Helping Kids Discern Their Future

In this episode of It’s Not About Money, Matt and Charla explore a common parenting challenge: how to help your child tell the difference between a dream worth pursuing and a fantasy. While we all want to encourage our kids to aim high, it’s equally important to teach them how to assess whether their ambitions are grounded in reality—or floating in a cloud of wishful thinking.

While we all want to encourage our kids to aim high, it’s equally important to teach them how to assess whether their ambitions are grounded in reality—or floating in a cloud of wishful thinking.

Charla (jokingly called the “dream crusher,” though she prefers “fantasy crusher”) unpacks what separates a dream from a fantasy.
Hint: it has a lot to do with effort, natural talent, and whether your child is self-motivated to put in the work when no one is watching.

Using relatable stories—including one about their own son’s baseball aspirations—Matt and Charla demonstrate how to recognize the signs of real passion versus temporary whims.

Key Topics Covered:

1. The Difference Between a Dream and a Fantasy
Dreams are based on ability, passion, and a willingness to work hard. Fantasies are just nice ideas with no plan or path forward.

2. Real-Life Clues That a Dream Might Be Worth Pursuing
From independent practice to asking for lessons, Charla outlines what to look for when evaluating your child’s ambition.

3. Four Questions to Ask Your Child (and Yourself)
Help your kids self-reflect with a simple framework:

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  Do I have the ability?

  
  
  
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  Will I put in the effort?

  
  
  
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  Are there clear steps to take?

  
  
  
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  Has anyone else done this successfully?

  
  
  

4. How to Redirect Without Crushing Spirits
Even if the original dream isn’t realistic, kids can often pivot toward related paths that still align with their interests—without setting them up for future frustration or failure.

Call to Action:

→ Ask your child thoughtful questions instead of offering blind encouragement.
→ Download Charla’s Dream vs. Fantasy checklist (coming soon on the blog!).
→ Share your own stories on social and tag us—we’d love to hear how you’re guiding your kids through this process.

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