It is the season to give thanks, but giving should be our mission, no matter the season. How can we encourage our children, spouse, and families to see the bright side? Felice shares simple tips and activities you can do with your family in this podcast.

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As I entered church this past Sunday, I noticed that the giving tree was up in the lobby. On this tree are name tags with a number and the item or product the family desires for their child. This year, I noticed our Parish selected a neighboring church that we ministered to many years before when my children were little. Several families banded together to create a party for the people at the church after a church service one Sunday. We were treated like royalty; all we did was put up festive decorations and bring trays and trays of cookies, cakes, and other foods that accompanied their vast trays of “real” food. We were trying to teach our children that giving thanks for what we had was more important than what we received.

It failed.

Why did this fail? It failed in the way we thought it would go, as we were hoping to bless this community. However, the lovely people who had nothing gave back so much in gratitude. We were blown away by how thankful the people were and how many kids came up and hugged us—even our kids! Truly, it wasn’t a total failure because our children did notice. They noticed how happy the families were who, by our standards, had nothing. We pointed out that the materially poor did not equal happiness and thankfulness.

We can talk about giving thanks or show our children in real and concrete ways. My co-author in the Creation Science Series, Jill Whitlock* would take her boys to the soup kitchen each Thanksgiving and help prepare and distribute meals to those struggling and less fortunate. She shared that often, there were families that joined the lines of those without. She began this after her divorce as a way to show her family that was struggling that others had it worse than they did. What a testimony to God’s love.

*Jill went to be with the Lord in 2007, and I miss her even today. She was such an inspiration for God’s love and faithfulness.

How can we teach our children to give? By giving ourselves. Some children have this innate love of giving. My youngest would find things around the house, wrap them up for me, and then gift them to me. I was often surprised at the trinkets he thought would be a good gift for his mom. It showed a loving heart; I could nurture this as a mom. It isn’t difficult for some children to give, but what about those who tend to be a bit more stingy?

One way is to enlist this child to help you brainstorm ideas or collect items to donate to others. My daughter would teach her children to select one stuffed animal or toy to give away yearly in a drive for gently used toys. Some children were on board, and others were not. She didn’t force the issue. However, she praised the children who did, marveling at their choices. This helped by providing an example for the reluctant child to participate. But, if the child did not, she didn’t make it a big deal and squelched any sibling peer pressure.

She explained that it was better to give from the heart or not at all — and she was right. You can’t force giving or someone to be thankful. I have a child who has struggled through his life to be grateful. One reason could be that hardships seem to follow him, but another is that he does not appreciate what God has given him.

Love and thankfulness are free. It is a gift, but it is totally free, and only when we recognize it can we appreciate it. Years ago, a downturn in the housing market hit us financially. Goen were the years of plenty, and we were in for the long haul of making do with what we had. I took an inventory of our lifestyle. It was easy for the children and me to gather together and look at what we could take away from our budget. The youngest three were the ones who learned the most from this trial.

We stopped buying paper plates, stopped bottled water delivery (it was way cheaper to bring empty bottles to the place and have them exchanged), and stopped the cleaning service we previously enjoyed. Everyone pitched it. When a dog came up for sale, the children band together, putting their hard-earned money toward the purchase of $100. They only had $95, and when we went to the private individual selling the dog, he accepted the $5 less. He saw they were a bunch of small bills, and I told him the children only had this much money.

This beloved dog passed away only a year ago; they had the dog for sixteen years. Life lessons can not be taught and don’t come out of a book.

Each Christmas, when the family gathers, all young adults now have an activity we share before they scatter to their own homes. Two are out of town, and the other three live in the same town. These activities keep us together and praying for each other all year long. First, when everyone gathers each night before bed, we pray, and then we go around the room saying what we are thankful for. It is an old routine from their youngest years and comes full circle into adult life.

I pray and ask the Lord for ideas for activities, and they change over the years. I hope to have a book for sale within the next year to share these activities. Currently, there are only twenty, but they have made an amazing impact on our lives. Last year, I placed words of encouragement in an envelope, and these were selected randomly. Each person kept their “word,” and we as a family wrote them down and prayed for each member for this word.

Two people received the word “hope.” Two people received the word “peace.” Two people received the word “love.” And, one received the word “joy.” My son, the one who struggles with thankfulness, received joy! I received the word peace along with my son in the military. I suggested we change out the activity this past Easter, and all said no! They wanted it to continue. I have no idea what the activity will be this year, but God does — so we will wait and see!

Look for life lessons in your family, whether it is making bread for the neighbor who lost their husband, helping to mow a neighbor’s lawn, or helping a poor church by purchasing gifts for each of the tags you select from a giving tree. When the children were younger, they would each select a gift and contribute to the purchase of an item with their “earned” money. I never paid for chores, but I did have a list of “extras” the kids could do to earn money. Any time the kids wanted to earn money, there were plenty of weeds to pull, trash to take out to the road (usually dad’s job), the garage to clean, cars to wash, etc. The job standards were high, so payment required a job well done with all items picked up in the end.

Out of five children, I have three who are extremely frugal and two who are not. Yet, all are thankful for the lives we’ve lived some years of struggling. This year, as we approach Thanksgiving, my husband needs a knee replacement. While the holidays are not a time I’d select, I’m thankful for the doctor who is a personal friend of the family, thankful for all of you who will pray and thankful for my family who is here to surround us and help.

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving, or whatever the upcoming holiday is, as you listen to this podcast–any season is the right season to be thankful and praise God for all that He has allowed to happen in our lives. Easy, no, but believe me, it will help you to be thankful for all those things that are free. The sunset, the sunrise, the food on the table, and the things we take for granted each day. Look around. What are you thankful for each and every day? Make it a habit, and it will bless you and your family!