Teaching kids to listen is a challenge, but it’s not impossible. In this episode, you will discover practical and effective ways to inspire kids to listen each and every time, empowering you to make a difference in their learning journey.

I’ve been inspired (pun intended) to do a series on inspiring your children. The series will include inspiring kids to listen, learn, succeed, empathize, and encourage self-esteem. This is the first of five episodes.

Good listening skills are the basis for order, disciplined children, eager learners, and all-around peace within your home. If your child knows what you expect and has a routine for accomplishing the goals for the day, your work gets easier. One effective tool to be sure your child understands expectations is to ask the child:

1. 
   
2. Do you know what is expected?
   
3. If they say no, ask another sibling to respond or fill in the information yourself.
   
4. Now, ask the child to repeat what you said (in his own words).
   

Effective listening is a tool for ensuring that your child understands and has the information they need. It is effective because when children express their thoughts in their own works, you know they’ve processed the information enough to tell you back. As educators, we were taught this procedure in class management. We also used it in class discipline. (More on this later)

In middle school, a teacher did a simple exercise with our class that encouraged us to listen to her every word from then on. I still remember it to this day. Try this with your children and see if it works. She said, “Today, I have a pop quiz that is going to represent 70% of your grade. I know that you did not prepare, and I know that you may or may not know the information on this quiz. But this is very important. I need you to listen to what I am telling you. This is a multiple-choice test, and you can mark answers A, B, C, or D. But, before you begin, put your name on the paper and read the instructions carefully. There will be no talking. After you complete your test, turn your paper over and wait quietly for further instruction.

She then passed out the papers, and we began taking the test. I wish I could say I was one of the kids that followed her instructions. But it took me two or three questions (I did not know as she purposely made the quiz difficult) to return to the top and read the instructions.

The instructions said, “Write your name at the top of the page. DO NOT ANSWER any of the questions. Turn your paper over, put your head down on the desk, and wait for further instructions.” I erased my answers, filled in my name, turned the paper over, and put my head down on the desk. Slowly, the rest of the class caught wind that half of us had our heads down and could not possibly have finished the test! They did what the rest of us did, went back and read the instructions, and groaned as they erased their answers and wrote names at the top of the page.

The teacher called “times up,” then asked us to pass our papers up front, where she collected them, and then spent the remainder of class explaining the importance of listening and following instructions and comparing that to the basis of learning.

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• Inspire Kids to Listen (this episode)
  
• Inspire Kids to Learn
  
• Inspire Kids to Cooperate
  
• Inspire Kids to Succeed
  
• Inspire Kids to Empathize
  
• Inspire Kids ~ Self Esteem
  

What does failure to listen bring us? Basically, it’s heartache, right? Unruly kids, unfinished school work, chores left undone or haphazardly finished, and a lack of control within our homes.  If your kids are looking for a textbook or workbook that they didn’t put away after the class the previous day or can’t find their pencil or one of the other things they’ve lost, it goes to reason that they did not listen and follow through when it comes to putting away the previous day’s classwork.

Failure to follow instructions costs us time.

How much time is wasted looking for something that is lost? What about the time it takes you to explain once again a lesson you explained earlier? Learning challenges aside, many kids just don’t listen when we talk.

Failure to listen causes us frustration.

We have to explain things again and again or remind the children to do their chores or schoolwork again and again.

When I talk about listening, I don’t mean that the children are parking their brains at the door. We must encourage our children to think for themselves when it comes to faith, morals, or behavior. We don’t want regimented Zoomies who follow in a row and don’t think for themselves. What I am talking about is making sure the children understand the importance of following instructions when it pertains to their school work and what you, as a mom, dad, or homeschool parent, expect.

What do you expect out of your children? Do they know? Do you know? If you are unsure, take a few minutes (or more) and think about it. Don’t become overwhelmed by just one day or even one subject. Sometimes, kids don’t know what to do because they are sure of the instructions. Other times, kids know what is expected but choose not to do the work or the chores that are expected for the day.

Encourage your children with praise when they do what is asked. I do this with my now adult children and when my grandchildren come to visit. Everyone wants to be praised and affirmed, and we should catch them being helpful, or listening to what we say, etc., whenever we can.

One way to encourage listening is to ask your child to recap at the end of a lesson or read a book. There are many other ways to encourage listening that also encourage learning. Drills, games, or even a pop-quiz will hone your child’s listening skills.

Let’s discuss the idea of “later.”

I have one son in particular who would do what I said but on his own time. For a season, (explain on air) this was fine until it was not. I felt it was a form of passive aggression, and it was easy for him to feel in charge, disobedient, and disruptive when doing his work later. His response was always, “I’ll do it, Mom.” But he never did. His response was correct, but the actions didn’t follow. This was more than a listening issue it was a behavior issue.

I explained how this idea of later was not going to work and why the chore, activity, or school work needed to be completed on time. We had daily class schedules that included a space for specific chores, so he was aware of his obligations.

My daughter has marker boards posted in her school area that have the days of the week and each child’s responsibility, chore zone, and other important information, such as a calendar with appointments, activities, and more.

Allowing the children a written reminder when necessary is important, but so are the consequences for failure to do what is expected. Sometimes, it is missing out on a family activity or a treat. It does not take too many times for a child to realize it is easier to listen than to rebel. I know you have one of those, a strong-willed child. Let me share a secret with you.

There have been books and books on the topic of children with strong wills who will wait for a parent until the parent relents or changes their mind. Here is the secret: They don’t want to be told; they want to be persuaded. Yet, they have to know YOU are in charge. So explain this to them as clearly as you can.

1. 
   
2. We are a family.
   
3. It is NOT me vs. you. It is just us –both of us. (Or all of us regarding the family.)
   
4. This is not a battle; I hear you, and I respect you. Here is your choice.
   

Strong-willed children perceive their way as being right. However, they want to see if they can stand up to the challenge. Pick your battles, but do set lines not to cross. Prepare to be tested.

Listening Basis for Good Communication

The last point I want to make is how important listening is to communication. Being a good listener means hearing the other person out, even when you can think of ten points of rebuttal. You will get your chance (jot notes if you think you will forget), yet truly listen. Put away the cell phone or anything else that is distracting, and focus on the person speaking to you. Explain to your children, do you see how I am listening to you right now? That is a respectful way to listen, and that is what I expect when I talk to you. If a child tries to interrupt, gently remind them to wait until you are finished.

Or ask, “Can I finish?” Then proceed. Explain that without listening; you can’t answer a person’s question fully or give an opinion without knowing what the other person is trying to say.  Practice good listening and communication with your child. (Give example, “You know. You know. The thing.)

The key to listening is to encourage your children when they are doing well, follow up assignments with oral activities such as asking for a recap or summation of what the child learned, and explore ways to actively teach listening skills through good communication.

Thanks to our sponsor, CTCMath.com, this curriculum is available online for grades K-12. Your children receive the lessons and must pass to move on, and you, as the parents, receive the results. It is a win-win for busy homeschool parents.