This time of year is tough; being sober over the holidays is tough, restaurant work is tough, but goddamn it, we are tough.  Reach out if your innate badassery isn't getting you all the way there:

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-local-aa

1-800-273-8255 (Suicide Prevention Hotline)

https://www.hftd.org/ (Hope For The Day)

https://www.bensfriendshope.com/