Look &/or listen as my friend & guest Alison Pena aka The Bad Widow shares the story of family life & love through a little iron candle snuffer fondly called The Monk.

The Monk has been a part of Alison’s family for over 100 years! She remembers fondly time spent with her grandparents at their home in Connecticut.

Her grandfather was British. When her grandmother was on her grand tour of Europe, they met in Germany. He was in the army & stationed there. They fell in love and continued their romance via letters for over 2 years. After the war, they married and Alison’s grandmother returned to England with her husband. However that didn’t really work out, so her grandfather moved to the states.

Alison recalls MANY Christmases & Thanksgivings around their table with its oil cloth tablecloth and an old iron candelabra. The family gathered around & lite the candles. The tablecloth, candelabra & a small iron candle snuffer had been brought over from England. Alison remembers her grandparents sitting at either end of the table, the expectation to behave & how formal it all felt. Her grandfather was a bit gruff & stern, but the love was always present.

Since this snuffer looked like a monk, it became known as The Monk. After the meal was over and the children had cleared the dishes, one lucky grandchild would be invited to put out the candles. This was often Alison, since she was the first grandchild & often the favored one.

Alison would go to the kitchen to retrieve The Monk & slowly with much delight extinguish each candle one at a time. Since it didn’t have a long “arm” & it was made of iron, she could feel the snuffer getting hot & how it would send smoke into the air.

She was so honored to inherit The Monk & every time she sees it she’s transported back in time to that table with her grandparents, parents, siblings & cousins and even to all families…. To community, love & history. Alison loves her dead well. This candle snuffer pulls up the love, grief, joy & everything.

To find out more about this amazing woman who’s doing such important healing work in the world: https://badwidow.com/

This minisode was clipped from a LIVE virtual Show & Tale: My Favorite Thing (Kitchen Edition) with Green-Wood Cemetery death education program to build connections, community & legacy one story of stuff at a time. ________________________________________________________________________________________

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