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Who wouldn’t sign up for more joy? Steven Petrow, author of The Joy You Make:Find the Silver Linings–Even on Your Darkest Days, rejoins us to share what he’s learned about joy – and how to cultivate more joy (and gratitude) in your life.

Steven Petrow joins us from North Carolina.

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Bio

Steven Petrow’s new book is The Joy You Make: Find the Silver Linings–Even on Your Darkest Days. He first joined us in 2021 to discuss his book Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old.

Steven Petrow is an award-winning journalist and book author who is best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and civility. He’s also an opinion columnist for USA Today,  where he writes about civil discourse and manners. Steven’s 2019 TED Talk, “3 Ways to Practice Civility” has been viewed nearly two million times and translated into 16 languages. He is the author of five other books, including Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners. He’s a much sought-after public speaker, and you’re likely to hear him when you stream NPR or one of your favorite  —  or least favorite  —  TV networks. Steven also served as the host and executive producer of “The Civilist,” a podcast from Public Radio International and North Carolina Public Radio WUNC. He is the author of five other books, the most recent of which is Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners. He’s a much sought-after public speaker, and you’re likely to hear him when you stream NPR or one of your favorite  —  or least favorite  —  TV networks. Steven also served as the host and executive producer of “The Civilist,” a podcast from Public Radio International and North Carolina Public Radio WUNC.

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For More on Steven Petrow

The Joy You Make: Find the Silver Linings–Even on Your Darkest Days

Website

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Mentioned in This Podcast Episode

Helen Dennis podcast conversation

Successful Aging – LA Daily News

Three Good Things –  Gratitude practice – Martin Seligman

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Edit Your Life – Elisabeth Sharp McKetta

Are You Living Gratefully? – Kristi Nelson

My Last Bad Day – Michael O’Brien

Living Like You Mean It – Jodi Wellman

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Wise Quotes

On Joy

“And as I did research and talked to experts and scholars and regular people, I came to understand that joy manifests in many different ways and has broader ways to show up in our lives. And so that helped me to see that joy can be serene, joy can be loud, and can be beautiful. It can coexist with sorrow. But the intrinsic thing that I think defines joy is that it is about connection and gratitude. And so you can be happy. You can be happy by yourself in a way. You get a new car, I’m happy. You get a job promotion, I’m happy. It’s fleeting, but you get the dopamine hit at the time. Joy kind of requires this interaction with others to make that connection, to sustain a connection. And in that way, joy is a state of being rather than a reaction to something else. I say happiness is about you, – and joy is about you and me. So that’s a real important part of it. And then the other is that it just shows up in different ways in our lives, other than in the big ways that we think.”

On Learning to Cultivate More Joy

“Lady Gaga said, you’re born this way or not. But fortunately, neurologists and other scientists have been showing that many of these emotions can be learned. We’re not stuck in our default settings for our lives. In a sense practice makes perfect. And so this book is my personal search for joy out of some very dark times. And the 28 steps, the 28 chapters are steps or stops on my journey. Not all of them are going to resonate with every reader, but I hope that many of them do because these are other avenues to find joy.”

On Memory & Joy

“Most days most of us can find or experience joy. And there are lots of ways that I talk about that, but memory is one of them. And so for someone who is having a bad day, sometimes the world looks bleak. Let’s face it, we all have different kinds of challenges. Going back in memory to a time that is happy, that is joyful and that is meaningful, is another way to experience joy. And you don’t have to have it in the present tense, you can pull it forward.”

On Gratitude & Joy

“Gratitude and joy are like these two cousins that cannot live without each other. It does go back to connection. And I remember when one of my scholars said, Go try doing a gratitude journal. I was like, Eyeore doesn’t do that. Eyeore is not going to find something to be grateful for every day, much less three things. But I went ahead…And if you do that for 21 days, all the studies say, you will be experiencing more joy…It’s good to know that’s not a big investment of time or money or anything. And they recommend you do it before going to sleep. If you go to sleep more in this frame of mind than sort of rehashing the challenges of the day.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident. Schedule a call to discuss how The Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one – on your own terms.

About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy. He’s an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking. Today, in addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, which thanks to his guests and loyal listeners, ranks in the top 1 % globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 1.5 million downloads. Business Insider has recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference.