Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? Regulation basics include the protection or connection pathways to interpersonal relating.

With the high tension we’re experiencing in the world today, it can feel particularly challenging to practice secure relating. We are re-sharing one of our impactful episodes where Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott explore the inner workings of our nervous system auto-pilot settings: protection vs connection.

Click here to view the original show notes for this episode!

Time Stamps for Protection or Connection

00:00 Understanding our internal working model

01:05 Our body responds so much faster than our mind03:11 The story we tell amplifies the body’s response

05:30 Story vs State: Protective System and the Relational Connective System

08:11 Awareness of our state and identifying the tells of a protective system

16:12 The awareness of self in the presence of another, the relational system

17:49 Our smartest brain

19:30 Tells when you’re in a relational, connective, and reflective place

25:21 Tolerating difficult emotions

29:32 Use your own name to identify yourself

31:24 Ways to calm your body down

36:40 Pre-emptive strike; we get defensive because of the threat inside of our body

39:26 Positive interpretation of a story

41:02 Conclusion

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