Bella Brooks: How Divorce Led to Self-Discovery and Open Relationships (S5 | E196)

[Tessa]

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we delve into the transformative journey of open nesting and the richness of personal relationships with Bella Brooks, a sexuality educator and intimacy coach. Bella shares her compelling story of rediscovery following her divorce in 2017, which became a pivotal moment that propelled her into exploring her identity as a part-time empty nester. This experience opened a new chapter in her life, leading her to embrace polyamory and to learn how to navigate relationships as part of her journey towards self-discovery.

TIME CODE 4:56 Navigating Post-Divorce Life 13:49 Trust and Vulnerability in Relationships 29:50  Parenting and Role Modeling 39:50 Embracing Opportunities in Act 3

We explore how Bella’s shift in dynamics, especially post-divorce, laid the groundwork for her to redefine intimacy, connection, and pleasure. She discusses the benefits of engaging in diverse relationships that allowed her to “speed date herself,” thus gaining clarity on her personal desires and boundaries while also considering the emotional impact on her now-adult children. Bella sheds light on how she balanced co-parenting with a nesting arrangement, providing continuity and stability for her children during a significant family transition.

Much of Bella’s transformation stems from her commitment to sexual education and empowerment, which she undertook through an extensive program to become a certified sexuality coach. This educational journey deepened her understanding of intimacy and strengthened her connection with herself, ultimately benefiting her romantic and familial relationships. We discuss how she has always embraced a sex-positive approach with her daughters, emphasizing the importance of open dialogue about sexuality, which contrasts with her upbringing. Through sharing stories and insights, Bella advocates for teaching young individuals about healthy relationships and the significance of body autonomy.

A significant part of our conversation also revolves around the challenges of intimacy, vulnerability, and communication in relationships. Bella provides valuable insights into her practices around consent and boundaries, stressing the importance of fostering an environment of safety and trust in romantic and platonic interactions. Techniques such as “hugging till relaxed” and guided improvisational games help establish deeper connections between individuals, promoting emotional vulnerability in a safe setting.

Furthermore, Bella introduces the concept of cuddle parties, where participants engage in consensual, platonic touch, creating a space for healing and connection. This emphasis on touch, she argues, is crucial in our increasingly isolated world and serves to alleviate stress and anxiety. Our dialogue expands to consider how this practice not only benefits individuals but also enhances relationships by encouraging authentic communication and reducing the societal stigma surrounding touch.

As we conclude, Bella reflects on her current chapter in life and her new romantic relationship, emphasizing the sacred devotion that characterizes this bond. She highlights the significance of modeling openness and authenticity for her children, reinforcing the idea that adults can continue to learn, grow, and reimagine their lives even in Act 3. The conversation resonates with a broader message: open nesting is about embracing change and fostering connections that enrich our lives.

Listeners eager to engage further can connect with Bella via her website, where she offers resources on relationships, intimacy, and the joys of open nesting. This episode promises to inspire those navigating similar journeys of self-exploration and personal growth in their relationships.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group