The Grace of Growing Older: Embracing Elderhood and Sacred Time (S5 | E186) with Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman

[Tessa] In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, I had the privilege of hosting Rabbi Dayle Friedman, whose rich spiritual insights on aging and the transition into open nesting resonate deeply with those seeking meaning in this new stage of life. Rabbi Friedman, an experienced rabbi and spiritual director, shares her journey, exploring the profound opportunities for connection, reflection, and personal growth that accompany the aging process.

Learn more about Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman here: GROWINGOLDER.NET Rabbi Friedman’s reflections on living with humility in the face of life’s changes provide a poignant backdrop for this conversation FOLLOW RABBI DALE FRIEDMAN ON FACEBOOK .dt-shortcode-soc-icons.soc-icons-6d3d70cdad80c3022dac88b2b035272f a { margin-right: 4px; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.soc-icons-6d3d70cdad80c3022dac88b2b035272f { margin-right: 4px; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.soc-icons-6d3d70cdad80c3022dac88b2b035272f:last-child { margin-right: 0; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.soc-icons-6d3d70cdad80c3022dac88b2b035272f:before, .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.soc-icons-6d3d70cdad80c3022dac88b2b035272f:after { padding: inherit; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.soc-icons-6d3d70cdad80c3022dac88b2b035272f.dt-icon-border-on:before { border: solid ; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.soc-icons-6d3d70cdad80c3022dac88b2b035272f.dt-icon-hover-border-on:after { border: solid ; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3 { min-width: 130px; min-height: 130px; font-size: 80px; border-radius: 100px; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:last-child { margin-right: 0; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:before, .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:after { min-width: 130px; min-height: 130px; padding: inherit; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3.dt-icon-border-on:before { border: 6px solid ; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3.dt-icon-hover-border-on:after { border: 6px solid ; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:hover { font-size: 80px; } #page .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:hover .soc-font-icon, #phantom .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:hover .soc-font-icon, #page .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:hover .soc-icon, #phantom .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:hover .soc-icon { color: rgba(255,255,255,0.75); background: none; } #page .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:not(:hover) .soc-font-icon, #phantom .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:not(:hover) .soc-font-icon, #page .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:not(:hover) .soc-icon, #phantom .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3:not(:hover) .soc-icon { color: #ffffff; background: none; } .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3 .soc-font-icon, .dt-shortcode-soc-icons a.single-soc-icon-a5e34b9e8fa283a1b2c033c052afc4c3 .soc-icon { font-size: 80px; }

We discuss the concept of “open nesting,” which emphasizes that the empty nest does not mark an end, but rather a beginning filled with possibilities for new adventures, passions, and relationships. She emphasizes the importance of accepting our limitations as we navigate the complexities of aging, caregiving, and evolving family dynamics. Her experiences managing her mother’s dementia and her husband’s health challenges illustrate the intricate balance of giving and receiving support within a family.

Empowerment and Self-Exploration

Through our dialogue, Rabbi Friedman highlights the value of fostering a deep spiritual practice as we age. She discusses how each transition—whether it be the departure of children or personal health changes—involves loss, but also opportunities for deeper connection and growth. The discussion brings forth crucial themes of acceptance and the paradox of life, urging listeners to embrace both the challenges and the joys that arise as they become older.

Rabbi Friedman shares her extensive experience in pastoral care, which includes creating spiritual connections in settings where they might seem unlikely. Her establishment of a Center for Aging and Judaism at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College demonstrates her commitment to educating others about the spiritual aspects of aging. This approach empowers both clergy and caregivers to engage fully with the aging population, reframing perceptions and cultivating hope in their journeys.

Throughout the episode, we touch upon practical wisdom from her writing, specifically her book “Jewish Wisdom for Growing Older,” which provides tools for embracing aging with grace and humor. Rabbi Friedman suggests that by simply being present and deeply listening, we honor our relationships and support one another in profound ways. Her storytelling about family connections—a dialogue with her children and the insights gleaned from interactions with her elderly mother—shows how vulnerability and honesty can transform relationships.

Together, we reflect on the importance of rituals during transitions. Rabbi Friedman offers meaningful examples of how families can create their own rituals, celebrating legacies and sharing memories, to mark significant changes. Her perspective sheds light on the need for shared experiences that honor the past while looking forward with hope. She encourages a shift from a focus on “doing” to a focus on “being,” inviting listeners to savor each moment and find joy in the everyday.

As we close our conversation, I invite listeners to embrace the idea of a “pause day,” akin to Shabbat, to foster mindfulness and connection with loved ones. Rabbi Friedman and I emphasize the significance of nurturing relationships and creating sacred time amidst the busyness of life.

This episode is a rich tapestry of wisdom, compassion, and guidance for anyone navigating the later stages of life. Rabbi Friedman’s reflections remind us that while aging comes with losses, it also presents unique opportunities for renewal, understanding, and love. As we journey through this phase, we continuously have the chance to grow deeper and become more whole—just as the Open Nesters movement encourages us to do.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

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