AN END TO ARGUING (S5 | E182)
with Linda and Charlie Bloom

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we delve into the transformative journey of couples as they transition from traditional empty nesting to a more expansive and vibrant phase, which we call open nesting. I’m excited to introduce Linda and Charlie Bloom, seasoned social workers, educators, and authors with a wealth of experience in nurturing deeper relationships. Married since 1972, they bring to our discussion profound insights gleaned from their enduring bond and extensive professional background.

[Tessa] We begin by exploring the unique challenges that couples face as children leave home, often leading to the opportunity for growth and deeper connection. Linda articulates that this life stage presents a powerful chance to re-evaluate what couples truly want from their relationships, allowing them to focus on desires and dreams that may have been sidelined during the years of child-rearing. This period offers the potential for couples to rethink their commitments and desires, alongside the wisdom to engage in meaningful and heartfelt conversations that have long been postponed.

Charlie adds that while many couples come to him and Linda expressing communication problems, they soon discover that the underlying issue is often one of honesty—both with themselves and their partners. It’s not merely about discussions; it’s about sincerely understanding personal needs and desires and then honestly articulating these to one another. They emphasize the importance of creating space for self-reflection and learning about one’s own needs before engaging in potentially challenging discussions with a partner.

Linda and Charlie further elaborate on how their approach, articulated in their book “An End to Arguing,” challenges couples to consider their competing commitments. They note that the fear of disrupting the status quo in a relationship can often prevent partners from addressing significant feelings and desires. Instead of merely putting a band-aid on issues, they encourage couples to think creatively about their relationship structure, urging them to engage in “enlightened self-interest.” This means recognizing that personal happiness often flourishes when both partners are genuinely fulfilled—in both individual pursuits and shared experiences.

A significant theme of our conversation is the concept of timeouts and separations—not as a sign of failure but as an essential tool for nurturing individual growth and relationship health. By taking intentional breaks, couples can reset the narrative of their relationship, gathering clarity about their own needs before re-engaging with each other. We discuss the transformative power of these moments, where partners can reflect, recharge, and ultimately come back together with renewed perspectives.

As we navigate further into their experiences, we touch on the complexities that often arise when couples start to explore new avenues of intimacy and connection. This venture may involve redefining boundaries or embracing greater openness in relationships. Linda and Charlie share that staying connected means being willing to have ongoing conversations and being brutally honest about discomforts—elements that are surprisingly underemphasized in modern partnerships.

By the end of our discussion, Linda highlights a powerful question for couples at this stage: “What do you want to do with your one wild and precious life?” This sentiment encapsulates the essence of our conversation—encouraging couples to dream boldly and to communicate those dreams, transforming the “open nesting” phase into a rewarding adventure filled with shared exploration and renewed intimacy.

For those looking to deepen their relationships further, Linda and Charlie will be leading workshops at Kripalu, where they empower couples to engage in transformative learning, focusing on love, sex, and intimacy. Our audience is encouraged to lean into these experiences, open their minds and hearts, and embrace the limitless possibilities of their relationships during this exciting chapter of life. For more details, listeners can visit bloomwork.com for further resources and upcoming workshops.

This dynamic episode invites listeners to rethink their relationships and embrace the open-nesting philosophy, where they can cultivate new adventures together, reignite passions, and continue to grow—both individually and as partners.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

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