Summary

We talk about when we first “met” ourselves, how we
evolved as people, and being happy with who we are. There’s a fair amount of
politics talk, some talk about differences between Japan and California and
between California and Alaska.

Transcript

K: Lately, I’ve been thinking about how happy we are, and
mostly that’s because I had a client the other day in the middle of the session
stop and look at me and say, “You seem really happy.” I was like,
“Thank you. I am.” It was surprising to me because I had been sitting
there with my… I have what I think of as a therapist scowl, where I furrow my
brows and pay attention. So for them to read that as happiness was a little bit
shocking to me. We started getting into a conversation about happiness, and
they wanted to drill down into mine, and I was like, “Right on.”
because I don’t do that tabula rasa thing, I do like, “Hey, you can ask me
anything. I’m an open book.” I think all therapists should be, and I also
think if your therapist doesn’t have a therapist, run, because your therapist
needs a therapist.

C: I think that blank slate is intended to keep boundaries
and that you’ve learned to keep boundaries in other ways.

K: Yeah, and I think it’s not appropriate in the day and
age of social media because I’m on Twitter, we’re doing this podcast. Anybody
can find out anything they want to know about me. I have a website. And so I
think when that was kind of the ethos, it was well and way before social media.
And I know because I’ve practiced therapy before social media and after social
media, and I’ve had clients say, “How do I know you’re real if you’re not
on Facebook?” So feeling like they couldn’t trust me if my life wasn’t out
there for them to see. And I think with YouTube and Snapchat and Twitter and
everything else that’s out there, we’re so used to being able to look into
people’s lives and Google someone and by their social media, their Instagram or
what have you, get a sense of at least what they want the world to think their
life is.

C: Right. We’re careful not to put anything on there that
would facilitate stalking. So I think that’s part of why therapists are advised
don’t share your life with your clients is because you’re not really sharing
your life, you’re just sharing information about yourself.

K: Yeah. And we have certain security measures in place
for that. And so anything a client wants to know about me I’ll always tell
them, because I view the hour as theirs and if they want to spend their hour
talking about me, I ask them, “Are you sure you want to spend your time
talking about me?” And sometimes they’re like, “Yes, because I want
to know about you.” And I welcome that and I honor and respect their
process. Because it could be part of their trust and bonding process.

C: That was my thinking when you said that, is that I
would want to know more about somebody to trust some, just because I so often
encounter things that surprise me from people if I haven’t asked those
questions.

K: Yes, and my judgment is something that people are
really relying on. And so knowing what opinions my judgment is based on. For
me, something that I find most shocking is when I have very devout Christian
clients who are okay with me being an atheist. And I’m just so humbled and
honored by that leap of faith and their expansion of what somebody who has good
judgment is their definition of that. Because to include me, it really does for
some clients challenge their belief systems, but that’s not what this podcast
is about. That’s not what this episode about. This episode is about knowing
yo