If you’re anything like I was, you think dramatic and miraculous change can happen instantly. Overnight transformation? I’ll have one of those!

In me, this belief led to thinking the key to my change was to be found in some self-help book or a Tony Robbins seminar.  I spent years desperately searching for the holy grail, with faith that its discovery would transform me instantly. 

I was like the gambling junkie, looking for wealth in lottery tickets instead of putting in the hard graft every day that would inevitably move me toward financial freedom I sought.  

If I’d redirected all that time and energy toward actioning tried and tested methods for growth, day by day – in increments unnoticeable taken in isolation – I would have transformed. 

But I didn’t want hard work. I didn’t even really want a part in my development. I wanted that to be someone else’s responsibility. 

And the problem with self-help books is they are more than happy to tell you just what you want to hear. After all, they have sales to make and images to maintain. You want it fast, and they sell fast. You want overnight transformation and they tell you they have the key. But after years of consuming this junk, you start to realise the cheap tricks don’t work. You come to terms with the fact that you aren’t the centre of the universe, you are not destined for greatness, you aren’t owed anything, and life is a grind.

This realisation may seem bleak, but I believe the truth always brings salvation (can I get an amen!?). Once you know you have to work to get the things you want (who woulda thunk it), you can actually start doing the things necessary to have success and happiness. 

But I’ve Seen Overnight Transformation…

Now, we have all heard about the overnight transformations. How can I acknowledge that people appear to change suddenly and yet not think that is available to me? 

You see, roots come before shoots. Growth happens beneath the surface, before it visible on the surface. To use another analogy, the eruption of a volcano, to the human eye, seems to happen all at once. Yet, science tells us that these things brew for centuries at a time. Bubbling away until they can no longer be kept beneath and they break forth violently. 

Change doesn’t have to be visible to be present. 

An individual can very easily change without consciously deciding to change. And they may be as unaware of the things happening inside as the layman observer is. 

Let’s use an example here. Take an alcoholic. At first, they don’t even see their alcoholism as a problem. As they continue to indulge, their addiction starts to impact their relationships. People point out that they drink too much. They brush it away. But the wheels of change may already be in motion. 

They think they can stop whenever – if they wanted to. For now though, only the bottom of a bottle stops their drinking, and not for long. 

But they’ve started noticing the way their kids look at them – with disappointment; with embarrassment. Their wife has started batting away all sexual advances. And she doesn’t laugh anymore. There is an emptiness behind her eyes. 

This begins to eat away at our man. 

Ok, yes, there is a problem here. He thinks. I must change.

He tries. But is scared to realise he can’t.