In this delightful and laugh-out-loud episode of The Absurdists, co-hosts Mary Murphy and Marlo Anderson take us on a whimsical stroll through the past. Together, they explore a variety of once-popular phenomena and inventions, rating them as either “Baby, Come Back” or “Forget About It.” Prepare yourself for an entertaining blend of nostalgia, absurdity, and quirky insights as the duo dissects bygone cultural staples and ponders their place in today’s world.

Mary and Marlo kick things off with a deep dive into the pet rock phenomenon. From googly eyes to DIY versions, they ponder the rock’s utility as the ultimate low-maintenance pet—and a hilarious fallback gift for awkward social situations. Would the pet rock be a hit if it made a comeback today? Mary’s verdict? “Baby, Come Back.”

Remember drive-in theaters? Marlo shares tales of cramming friends into car trunks to save a few bucks, while Mary recalls the questionable sound quality and lumpy French fries. Though it stirs up fond memories, both hosts ultimately agree this one is a “Forget About It.”

The duo reminisces about the ubiquity of cigarette vending machines in the mid-20th century. With no ID checks, these machines were a fixture in laundromats and grocery stores. The absurdity of their unregulated accessibility leads both hosts to give this relic a firm “Forget About It.”

Marlo fondly recounts his encounters with soda jerks, the original mixologists who crafted fizzy drinks from syrups and soda water. Mary, intrigued by this bygone experience, votes “Baby, Come Back,” envisioning a revival of soda fountains in nostalgic eateries.

The rivalry between VHS and Betamax gets the absurdist treatment as Marlo reveals an unexpected twist: the porn industry’s pivotal role in VHS’s victory. While the higher quality of Betamax impressed professionals, its inability to adapt to the home recording market sealed its fate.

Waterbeds were a sensation in the 70s and 80s, but their leaks, high maintenance, and the infamous patch kits made them more trouble than they were worth. Despite their nostalgic charm, both Mary and Marlo agree they’re better left in the past.

Nothing screams early internet like the screeching tones of a dial-up modem. Mary and Marlo hilariously recount the agony of losing a connection when someone picked up the phone. Nostalgic? Yes. But neither wants to relive those frustrating days. Verdict? “Forget About It.”

While the traditional image of a milkman in a white uniform may no longer exist, modern-day milk delivery services still thrive in some communities. Both hosts celebrate its evolution, voting “Baby, Come Back.”

Marlo and Mary debate the merits of phone booths, with Marlo highlighting their nostalgic charm and Mary dreaming of modern “cone of silence” booths for noisy public phone users. The verdict remains mixed, but Mary’s vision for their revival feels more relevant than ever.

In a heartfelt closing, Mary declares her undying love for the original MySpace, reminiscing about its customizable pages and band promotions. She proudly states, “I will die on this hill: Baby, Come Back.”

This episode is a love letter to the absurdities of the past and the quirks of human innovation. Whether reminiscing about soda jerks or cringing at the thought of waterbeds, Mary and Marlo guide us through a delightful mix of history and hilarity.

Join The Absurdists for this nostalgic journey, and don’t forget to share your own “Baby, Come Back” or “Forget About It” moments in the comments. Stay absurd!