Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships.

00:00 Introduction and Host Background

01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity

02:04 A Personal Story About Curiosity

08:50 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity in Relationships

19:10 Self-Regulation and Emotional Maturity

24:18 Promoting Genuine Curiosity in Parenting

26:17 The Role of Humility in Curiosity

29:41 Healthy Ego vs. Defensive Narcissism

35:03 The Neuroscience of Decision Making and Emotions

37:06 The Power of Slowing Down

37:36 Understanding Emotions: Primary, Secondary, and Instrumental

41:02 Exploring Anger in Relationships

42:48 Trusting Your Gut and Emotional Reasoning

45:41 Addressing Men's Emotional Immaturity

48:55 Real-Life Examples of Genuine Curiosity

53:42 Parenting with Curiosity

55:09 Curiosity in Marriage and Workplace

59:47 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Tools

01:02:15 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation

01:05:20 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.

And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.